Sunday, December 28, 2008

Pick My Next Date

Ladies and Gentleman, a new (Sundays only) feature. (Cue applause)
a
I offer you the men currently asking for dates.
a
YOU decide. (After Evil Surfer Dude, clearly I can't be trusted.) All you have to do is vote for your favorite. The majority rules.
a
When you read my "date review" you will have the unmitigated pleasure of knowing that whatever happened to me was entirely YOU'RE fault. If it works out, you're invited to the wedding. This could get us on Oprah, people.
Bachelor #1. (Professional Surfer)


Profile:
Thought I would give this a try !! I really don't need to find the "perfect" soulmate, "although that would be ideal", just someone that's fun, light hearted and easy going. Someone who's independent but not overly driven to get "there", it's the journey not the destination:). I try to live each day as if it's my last, incorporate the Golden Rule and if I screw it up, I wake up and try again. I know this is asking alot, but if you can tolerate living a fun, exciting, and carefree lifestyle, you might be interested..:). I'm really easy going, soft spoken, friends tell me "incredibly patient",I'm basically just a pretty loving guy - However, "I will protect you if need be...of course!!!":-). If your interested, send me an email and I'll do my best to reply. I just wanted to add this, if you are really looking for that "guy" I just might be the one, I really want to give myself to someone and care about what they think and what their hopes and dreams are and share mine with them. Relationships can work, it's not hopeless!!
a
Bachelor #2. (Insurance Fraud Investigator)

Profile:
I’m a straight forward and honest man with very strong family values. I'm an adventurous person who enjoys traveling abroad (when I can afford it) and being on the go. I work out at the gym 3-4 days a week, as keeping in shape is important to me. Looking to meet someone to have fun and laughs with... make friends... and then see where things go from there. Physical attraction is important no matter how shallow it may appear at first. I'd like to meet somebody with ‘tons of spirit’ and loves life!!. Doesn't matter if you work out at the gym or not, however pride in how you look, how you carry yourself, having integrity, a sense of spirituality, passion and humility are all a major plus in my eyes. There is so much more to me that I can not cover here. If you are interested, please drop me a line. PS, If you need a reference or check my background, please let me know and I will get you in contact with my mother as she was the one that put me up to this. (LOL) :)
Bachelor #3. (Film Production)

Profile:
I had to sign up to meet you, and now here is this box, mocking me with questions. Ok, last count I had the correct number of appendages. I am slightly more interesting than I appear in your rear view mirror. I don't believe everything I think.I possess a keen appreciation for beauty in all forms, connecting me to the universe. I care deeply about my son, the union of man and woman, self-expression with pen (ok, computer), my sport, and more (yes, more).In search of a loving, lasting relationship for a warm and blessed journey.

41 comments:

Braja said...

Number 1. I am, I mean: the number 1 commenter. That's gotta count for somethin', right? If I'm not you need to delete this comment. Seriously.

Go for number 1. Are you insane??? Is there even a question???

Braja said...

If you get married you can fly me over and I'll do the wedding. How many can say they've been married by a yogi....c'mon....

Ann's Rants said...

I really have to go spend time with my human, I mean my husband now. All I know is #3 is actually Tim Robbins in High Fidelity. If you want tantric sex, he's your man.

Michelle J said...

Date me!!!

Nuff said!

Simplicity said...

This is why I'm single:

1. Too pompous. Looking for somebody who is free and easy-going translates into, "I want somebody exactly like me...perfect."

2. Something rubbed me the wrong way about this dude.

3. Pick him. He hasn't been on the site for long and signed up just to meet YOU! :) I can only hope that the second photo is him after MAKE-UP for a film!

I'm sure you won't be able to blame me since I'm confident I'll be in the minority!!

Mike said...

I vote for #4 Old Maid. Pretty slim pickings. #1 only if you want to have sex with him and bail. #2 if you want to be put on a pedestal. #3 if you want your picture on the side of a milk carton.

Hedgie said...

If you consider any of these potential keepers, I'd really hate to see the ones you threw back.

You know, there are some nice convents.

Charmaine said...

Already this is SO interesting!

#1 is a hunk. No doubt. He's left messages on my phone and is in every manner, totally charming. I never called him back cuz I was intimidated.

#2 has called me 1 million times. We've chatted. I think he's nice. But something stops me from agreeing to a date despite the fact that I find him attractive.

#3 I have been talking to for AGES. Literally, ages. His profile description was NOT about ME. That's his general profile. Every woman reads that. He's a nice, slightly weird guy.

If I get married, flat out, Braja is marrying me on the beach. Then I will throw a themed party. It's what I do for a living. In honor of Braja, maybe a cheesy Bollywood theme? I feel, she's gonna knock me upside the head for that one.

Charmaine said...

Hedgie and Mike,

It's just a date, not an agreement to marry.

I'd be interested in how YOU would describe yourself on a dating website? I mean, most men (unlike you guys) are innarticulate.

Still, there is a reason perhaps that I have failed to agree to a date with any of them.

But I have to get out there. I'm getting OLD. Ahhhh

SweetPeaSurry said...

I'm going with Bachelor #1 and not just because he looks the prettiest. I liked his profile, I like the way he mentions how he wants to get to know YOUR needs. (I'm guessing that means he'll know that you already have pans and don't need tupperwear or knives)

Good luck, chica!!!

Hedgie said...

"I'm getting OLD."

My dear, you're simply gaining in value.

Braja said...

Are you serious??? You'd BETTER have a Bollywood theme or I'm just not coming...yay to number 1. Go for it.

Simplicity said...

Errrrmmmm...just in case my snarcasm didn't come across clearly, I didn't actually mean you should go out with 3. My choice would be NONE! That's why I shall remain single!

If I HAD to pick one, I would go for 1. I still think he's pompous, but definitely NOT out of your league. Geez! You're beautiful, smart, hilarious and have great taste in food! And you're NOT old!!

Da Old Man said...

# 1 seems to be a putz.

# 3 could be too mellow

# 2 seems to be the most normal, and will probably treat you right, but he may be a bit boring. Give him a chance.

Michele said...

For just a date I'd say #3. He seems like he'd be just weird enough to be fun.
For some reason #2 worries me.

Did #1 actually post that picture of himself? While I don't mind looking (I'm married not dead)at him that picture looks a little too GQ to be real. Oh and didn't you just have a incident with a surfer?

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Oh, jeez... I'd go for #1 if you are looking to scratch that itch... #2 sounds boooooor-ing, but nice... and #3 I like him, but he looks alike a serious stoner.

If there are plenty o' fish, I'd get my pole and keep on baiting the hook. ;-)

hee hee I said "pole" !!!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Sorry if I sound too familiar *blush* I've been lurking around your site for awhile and just realized this might be the first time I've commented! *blush* Blogging breeds familiarity, no?

Shonda Little said...

I say #2 or #3. I'm not gonna lie, if you added 15 years of age to the bottom photo of #3, he kinda looks like Blue from Old School, but he is a rugged handsome without the hair and he seems balanced.
#2 also won my heart with the desire to travel abroad, but honesty in that he can't always afford it as well as not needing a gym jockie so long as she take pride in herself. In fact, I like him best.

I have to say that #1 kinda gave me the creeps. I think any dude who takes a shirtless photo of his ripped body getting wet in the shower is marketing for one thing and it ain't much more than tonight.

#2 or #3

Pacing the Panic Room said...

oh my goodness. don't pick any of them. please. please don't.

LL said...

Wow... just wow.

#1... erm... anyone who looks like that spends waaaaaaay too much time looking in the mirror. And another surfer? Tsk, tsk, tsk...

#2... Investigator. 'Nuff said.

#3... Now that guy's got balls. One good thing... you know he's not blowing his money on combs.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to go back to the shuffle on these, and say none of the above.

Braja said...

People, please....what the hell is wrong with a little shadow Matthew McConaughey or however the hell you spell it. Girl needs some sugar, let her have it :))

Lilly's Life said...

Oh my, I suggest going on a date with each of them in the order of 1,2 and 3. After one evening you will know if you want to date any of them again. I think profiles are always dodgy and so are photos. You have to see them face to face for at least a coffee. If there is no immediate attraction, forget it! You are beautiful, young (yes!!!) and have a great personality AIM HIGH and you will get who YOU deserve!!!

echidna girl said...

Nix #1 - what on earth would you talk about? For reals?

#2 - While it's nice that he respects women, I fear for someone who takes his dating advice from his mother.

#3 - I was spooked by those pictures and still think that eventually he would be too abstract and flaky for a relationship that lasted decades. However, I think he would be very interesting for something medium term (perhaps even a few years?). He seems like would treat you well and would be a fascinating conversationalist just based on his unconventional views, if nothing else.

I go for #3.

Comedy Goddess said...

#1 Looks like it's all about him. Probably in bed too.
#2 Isn't really interested. I think his mother wrote the profile. He said she put him up to it.
#3 My first thought was, OMG looks like my ex! (my ex is 16 yrs older than I am, and he is now 62. I'm guessing so is bachelor #3.) Then I saw the second photo and thought, Holy Shit! He looks crazy!

I think if you are asking, you are really not drawn to any one of them. Sorry.
I am really sorry.

Mama Dawg said...

Honestly?

None of 'em.

But, I'm someone that likes my men burly, dirty and don't talk much.

DCup said...

I'd give number 1 a try. Yes, #1.

Charmaine said...

Ha ha. I had no IDEA the votes would be so accross the board.

None of the above is NOT an option so if you voted for NONE, come on back here and cast your vote!

Michelle J said...

Ok since your obviously not going to date me, here is what i think:

I would go for #2!!! #1 its obvious there could be a nice sexual attraction there, but i am thinking thats all it may be for you!!! Then again, WTF if your horny or in the mood then check him out first!!

But for real relationship i'd go with #2. #3 freaks me out a little and not because of how he looks in the photos, just something i cannot quite put my finger on!!!

What stops you with #2???? There has to be something? Think about it Charmaine!! Really think!!! Was it something he said?? Or didn't say???

Hope your having a good day, i am off for a run!!!

P.O.M. said...

Run.
Hide.

That is all.

My casserole was a disaster. The Captain described it as "slimy." Recipe will not be posted. ha ha.

Hope you had a good Christmas.

adventure grrl said...

I would vote for one if he didn't put that pic up of him by the shower. This is not "Playgirl" it's your profile. Though his words are sweet - a date with him might be fun.

#2 - There is so much emphasis on looking good and working out and I just don't know if there's anything deep about this guy. Let me put it to you this way - I wouldn't want to go out with a guy I can't eat in front of.

#3 Creeps me out a little. That's just me. I think he's going to put something in your drink and sell you into sex slavery.

Date Michelle! Hee hee. Go with one, at least it will be fun!

Beans said...

Long time lurker, first time caller...out of the 3, I would call up numero uno. Number 2's profile made me want to smack him and I don't know why. Number 3 sounds interesting based on what he wrote but his pictures scream 'Roofies in your Mojito'

I only picked number one because he is the lesser of the three evils: Vain, boring, and crazy eyes.

Hedgie said...

"None of the above is NOT an option so if you voted for NONE, come on back here and cast your vote!"

Nonsense. It's time to start a WRITE-IN CAMPAIGN.

I vote for Evil on the grounds that he may have some of the turkey left. Better the turkey that you know than the turkey you don't know.

smellyshelley said...

Hmmm....I think #1 has an ego problem, he's taking a picture of his abs. #2, i'm not getting any warm and fuzzies from either, and #3 reminds me of Ted Kazynski (sp?). Can I vote for my Dad, he's back from Tunisia.

I'm still hoping for a Poolboy 2nd date.

Tammy said...

And, THIS is why I deleted my profile from plenty of fish and swore off dating...

I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that any man who is posting a picture of his body getting ready to go into the shower is not looking for a relationship. If that's what you want, go with #1.

#2 is bor-ing.

#3 had me intrigued in the beginning, but then he got creepy.

SSP said...

yeah, i am thinking, take #1 - a date won't kill ya, and if you get to run your hands over those abs, that would be enough for me....#3 just scared me so I didn't even read his profile - how shallow of me, but seriously, does he not have photos that make him look like a charles manson relative? I hate POF.....all the guys in Tucson look like #3.....

Briana said...

#2, #2, #2. 1 and 3 aren't even worth an hour lunch. #2 having stated his preference for people who care about their appearance, is just being honest. (Don't tell me #1 will date a 300 pound woman).

#1's profile played both sides of the dont't-want-soulmate-but-could-be-yours and other fairly typical crap. Plus, the picture, seriously. Clearly that's all he has to offer.

#3. Psycho.

#2 seems to be honest and I don't think that working out 3-4 times a week says ego. (I'm pretty sure #1 is there every fricking day.) And he's just stating that physical attraction is important, which, unless you are blind, is.

b luis grey said...

1. hard body. That's got to count for something

2. sugar daddy... just kidding. He'd be doing some personal investigating of his own. if you want a private eye snooping around for excitement.

3. who's this guy. don't even think about it unless he's loaded and you can retire and travel for the rest of your life.

enough said. ;)

BlueEyedWonder said...

All right girlie..I don't know if I'm too late or what, cuz I just got on my blogger site..
#1-He is a hottie and sounds marvelous but when they are THAT good looking, I wonder WHY they aren't hooked up already.
#2-No way. I looked, I saw and I read and nope...I wouldn't do it either.
#3-LOL...no way! He looks maniacal!!

So, if I had to choose, it would be number 1. And it's still a hard sell...

Hedgie said...

Has anyone noted that #3 was last seen chasing Ned Beatty through the underbrush in Deliverance?

Just a thought.

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