Wednesday, May 28, 2008

King of Produce

I don't know what it is about men and fruit. For me, they seem to inextricably tied together. There was farmer john (UPS driver by day) who send me crates of oranges. Bad Guy Gone Good who brought small case of Avocados. And now...there the King of Produce.

KOP and I met at , Bandera...where else, and I was pleasantly surprised. Dan looks alot better in person. He was warm and frankly kinda weird. Nerdy arrogant kind of nerdy. He owns his own produce storage business. We had appetizers and he claimed not to know how to eat an artichoke. I broke severe protocol, which for me is basically being a bitch, and helped him dunk his roasted artichoke leaves into the dip....etc. I'm trying to be a softer, gentler Charmaine.

Of COURSE it's an "act".

Then we had dinner and he grabbed me to kiss me. I didn't feel anything. The next day I got an email from a guy on this NEW website I just joined asking me if "that was me" in the restaurant last night.

Yep. Total stranger from internet emailing me to tell me he was standing next to me last night. Young feller too. He asked I wanted to 'hang out". Jesus.

Monday, May 19, 2008

My Profile

It's time I brought you into the "inner sactum" to show you my "profile". It's the tool I use to lure my victums. Mua ha ha
I am a playful, zany, intelligent hard working woman. I'm a little artistic and an independent thinker. (It's difficult to discern if I'm to the left of Ralph Nader or to the right of Attila the Hun - but that's only when I'm being tricky.

I like physical and mental challenges, my own space and invading other people’s space. Some of my skills include walking on water, reading minds and levitating small to medium sized objects but I don’t like to brag about this.

I like being outdoors, playing Guitar Hero with my nephews, running stairs at the beach, hiking, biking, playing the piano, contemporary art museums, ballet and opera. I like people with a slight edge.

What I like:
For fun I travel, cook or take classes at my local college. I like to explore topics that scare me, like public speaking. Oh Lordy. I'm a bit of a frustrated artist. I draw a little, play the piano.

I love New York (not a platitude) Chicago, London, Prague, Switzerland, Paris and Costa Rica. I like hanging out at the Four Seasons Punta Mita watching the sun set from my hammock or camping in the middle of nowhere and cooking bacon in the morning.THE END
See that cute fireman below? I was in New York and he walked right up to me and asked me out. I still KICK myself for not going. Kick Kick...ow....kick...
My sister kicks me too. Kick Kick. OWWCH!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Are Indian Men Weird?

It’s not easy to prove a theory. You must define your hypothesis followed by rigorous testing. The theory must be tested and proven by others. Frankly, I don’t have that kind of time.

I stated my hypothesis in my last post. “Indian Men are Weird”. They seem to be juvenile and inappropriately sexual (in an adolescent way) with women in either words or actions.

To prove that I’m open minded, I agreed to speak with yet another Indian man. (Apparently I’m catnip to these fella’s)

I told him about my dating experience with the last two blokes. Certain that he would be careful. After about 10 minutes of conversation he advised that he was only attracted to Philipinos, Iranian and white women. He racially profiled white women, concluding that they do not appreciate a well-educated man. (Frankly it was the only reason I was talking to him.) Then he told me that his former Iranian girlfriend named her vibrator after him.


Indian men, Yeeeeer out!

But if Deepok Chopra ever becomes available…I’ll reconsider.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

On The Rebound

I broke up with Bad Boy Gone Good. Again. After 5 weeks he requested a commitment. Wha? I mentioned that I wanted to continue dating other people. He told me that he "does not compete". Seriously, what is wrong with men? It's like they've become prima-donnas?
Still, he would like to remain friends. A friend with a tool belt is a friend INDEED! a
This is the picture of my new boyfriend. His name is Brody. He's 9.
Maybe it's time to drop the 50 - 60 year old men. They need so much attention/ reassurance it's like being with a child anyway. Why not go for the real thing? I've had more then one adorable younger man flirt with me. Yes, Ladies and Gentleman the time has arrived. I'm going to embrace my inner couger.
If pink is the "new" black have 55+ men become the "new" women?

Pavarotti and James Brown. "It's a Man's World" I'll bet you've never seen this COOL video!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Bad Boy Gone Good with Tool belt


Saturday, Bad Boy Gone Good showed up on my doorstep with a toolbelt. My deck became Command Central Repair Station. Power tools, saws, ratchets, chargers. He proceeded to complete the dream of my life.

He fixed EVERYTHING in my house.

I've been single forever, so you can imagine, the repairs took ALL DAY. When he was done, he cooked me dinner on the barbeque he fixed.

God love him.
James Taylor - "Handy Man" a timeless classic.
Charmaine's Barbeque and Oven
The steaks were a little tough. The grilled Zuchini and Summer Squash were FANTASTIC. Cut in long strips with olive oil, salt and tons of pepper. The baked potatoes were crisp and salty, just the way I like'em. I made the potatoes. Oh, the wine was spectacular. He brought it, and the food too.