Tupperware? The cheap fake Tupperware? How did you know? It's what I've always wanted.
How romantic. I gazed down at my knife set, then at Evil's jugular.
The finale. All I could say was, "Evil, did you ever consider ASKING me what I wanted?"
Other gifts included a Salt and Pepper shaker and a hideous $8.99 black plastic wall clock.
Charmaine: What made you choose a black plastic clock?
Evil: It's matches your keyboard.
Charmaine: My keyboard isn't black.
Evil: The bench is.
Charmaine: You bought a clock to match the bench below my Keyboard?
After the wrinkle cream he could have offered me a black diamond and I would have thrown it at him. I packed up his left overs and pretended to fall asleep on the couch. He left. The minute he was out the door I miraculously sprang to life to life and called a friend.
Then I emailed Evil and broke up with him. "I'm not your mother" I said. "Where did you get this stuff anyway?"
"K-mart" he responded.