be traumatized to learn that I eat cows.
Braja (who lives in a small village in India) unbelievably posted her profound and abiding love for cows (she owns one as a pet) on the very SAME DAY I posted my recipe for Veal.
Braja. I beg you, PULEEEZ do not read the post below. Don't do it. Really, stop right here. I see you going for your mouse. I'm not kidding, STOP. For the love of Jesus, Buddha, Allah... STOPPPPPP!!!!! (faints)
On a dating note: In a moment of weakness (drunken stupor) late last night, I sent "Evil Surfer Dude" an email: "I want to see you one last time."
I awoke this morning in a panic so violent my leg shot out and I fell off the couch. Picking myself off the floor I stumbled toward the computer. Please God it was just a dream, right? I hate "Evil Surfer Dude" I would NEVER send him an email. Rushing to my hotmail, I clicked the "sent" folder... a blood curdling scream. Ahhhhhhhhh
Evil and I broke up weeks ago. One day I simply couldn't stand the sight of him. Everything he had done wrong hit me at once.
Here's the problem...it's the holidays and I was feeling kinda lonely and...um...I remembered there was ONE thing that Evil didn't do wrong.
He's coming over on Friday.
Now I realize, that uh...technically speaking this might be considered a "booty call". But I am so NOT that gal. I have never been on either side of the "booty call" phenomenon. I don't have a booty TO call.
I'm "uptight". I practise the "three (3) month" rule. No Hanky Panky" for three (3) months. Prior to "Evil" I practised the No Hanky Panky until the wedding night rule for about seven (7) years.
"Evil" counted down the days. "Hi Charmaine, it's day 63". "Hey Charmaine, we're on day 74, you'd better get ready".
He will arrive and I will likely have that visceral, gut wrenching disgust for him rise in me again and slam the door in his face.
But I'll keep it at bay until he gives me my Christmas presents.