Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Younger Man.

Huh? Why is this guy interested in ME? He's 37. Departing from my rule to strictly date men who are hideously ugly (so they'll be nice to me) I gave him my number.

I'm no "Cougar". But um, before cougars were invented, I dated a younger guy.
When I broke up with him he began throwing pebbles at my window, pounding on my front door weeping. It was all very dramatic. At the time I'd read (ok skimmed) the Birth Order book which suggested the eldest female sibling of a family was the perfect match for the youngest male sibling in another. Total crap.
Here's the thing. Mitch did my laundry. He would come over, pick it up, wash and fold it, then return it to me.
Evil also did my laundry. He wasn't trying to be helpful or provide evidence of his adoration. He was merely so anal retentive he couldn't abide watching me put clothes in the washer without turning the shirts right side out or failing to fluff each, individually, before placing it in the dryer. Because he was so fastidious, when I did laundry in his presence I became maniacal. I would grab it, throw it around, pick articles that had fallen to the ground and slam them into the washer. It was a performance that produced results. a
Evil would fold each piece of clothing meticulously, as I watched...mouth agape. This generally resulted in me grabbing my thong underwear out of his hand screaming, "You don't need to fold UNDERWEAR, you freak"!
I've been single for 5 days. Already I'm reminiscing about Evil. Have I become one of THOSE women? Sweet Jesus. The next thing you know I'll be surrounded by cats.
I'll post his Profile in my comments section because it bored me. I don't want to bore you too.


Michele said...

Okay, his grammar and sentence structure leave a lot to be desired but, damn, he is seriously HAWT!

You wanted my profile/notice/whatever so I asked my husband what I should write. I can not repeat that! Here is what I came up with:

Mildly neurotic librarian that does not wear a bun, sensible shoes, or plaid jumper but does sport tattoo on hip, piercings (ears only) and long hair seeks mature male. Preferably one that will leave me the hell alone when I'm reading a good book but enjoys irony, profanity, and British humor. Must, and I mean really must, like dogs. Cats are okay but not mandatory. You just can't have 15 of them.

Does this sound like I'm self involved?

Ann's Rants said...

He sounds wonderfully...LESBIAN!

Charmaine said...

Michele, I wanna know what your husband said. hee hee

Charmaine said...

Ann - I confess. I didn't even READ his profile.

Estela said...


I like him :-)

Maybe it's the picture of him with the dog that makes him seem so "normal"...

Esela in South TX

Charmaine said...

This is this guys endless profile. I conked out around the end of the first paragraph.

I like men who are a little edgy. Corn fed and wholesome is NOT going to be a fit!

A little summary of me:I was born and raised in Houston, Texas, but moved here about a year and half ago from Orange County, California for my job. I lived in San Clemente for ten years before coming here and love the ocean and lifestyle there, but I now live in Summerlin and love the Red Rock National Park that is almost my backyard. Although, not quite as much as the ocean, which is why I go back so much.I stay very fit and am very athletically and outdoor oriented. I enjoy all types of physical activities, including hiking, scuba diving, mountain biking, and working out. I also enjoy cooking (I have had training and am relatively experienced), reading, landscaping my house, playing with my dog, and traveling. I have traveled extensively in my life and have lived and worked in numerous countries. I can speak intelligently about many things, from politics to recipes to gardening/landscaping, and I enjoy hearing the stories and opinions of others.Regarding my interest in this site, I enjoy intelligent conversation with fun, good-hearted, and honest people. Some day I would like to raise a family and be a good husband and father, but I am not someone who believes in rushing into a commitment like that. Until that right equal comes along, I am content with enjoying life and trying my best to be a good person and friend to both those I know and those I don’t.(I commute regularly back and forth from Vegas to Orange County)

Pacing the Panic Room said...

A good rule of thumb: If anyone ever has to tell you that they are a "nice" guy or a "good" person, they aren't either of those things. Run.

The same kind of applies for people that mention twice that they "can speak intelligently about many things"

I'm calling shenanigans on that one. see if he can pull that brag off the first time you all talk.

Michele said...

The man's Irish. His notice about me included irony, lots and lots of profanity, and British humor. Use your imagination. Trust me, that would be about right. HaHa!

SSP said...

well no f*cking wonder I can't find a man in Tucson...they are all in Southern f*cking California. I have NO problem with a 37 year old - he is still older than my baby brother (barely), so if you throw him back, tell him there is a hot(tish), wanton hussy in Tucson looking for him and his dawg!!!

Although, I have to say, I think POF litters some of these completely fictitious guys and gals around just to spice it up a bit. I wish they would litter some over in Tucson!!

PaulsHealthblog.com said...

When I was in college, I read a book about birth order by Dr. Kevin Lehman.

Did you read the same book?

Da Old Man said...

I have no idea what to say about this one.
You are in a quandry. You want to date older guys, but most of them want younger women. The guys most interested, those seeking cougars, you don't want.
And somehow you wind up with guys who are anal about laundry.
You are becoming my favorite blogger.
I wish you nothing but much love and happiness in the new year.

Hedgie said...

Does it look to anyone other than me that the dog is trying to get away? Could this be an omen?

Curiosity finally got the best of me, and I visited plentyoffish.com this afternoon. I was left speechless.

Diane said...

The man's a cutie... but you know that's a gay guy's dog, right? Every person I've ever known who owned one of those wrinkly dogs was gay. Just sayin'.

Captain Dumbass said...

I had a comment but then I lost my power for 10 minutes. My comment went with it. So, uh... hi.

JIMSIGHT said...


JIMSIGHT said...


b luis grey said...

i teach kindergarten in Korea. Happy New Years!

Mama Dawg said...

He doesn't sound bad...just dull. Good luck!

Mike Valentino said...

Gay men own Mastiffs? I must spread that rumor quickly.

LL said...

You want to date Pete Sampras? *shrug*

Well... at least that gives us younger men a chance at you... :P

So what happened to the three choices from last time? I remember a stern chastisement from you about voting none of the above and now you're choosing none of the above? Typical woman... :ewink:

ginger b said...

Ugh! I hate this guy already. There are so many of this kind of guy here in Colorado I think they actually sell them at the local REI's.

WHY is his life so boring that he has to spend ALL of it outside? Has the guy ever considered the simple pleasures of a football game, a beer, and a bar stool?

And his profile sounds whiney and high maintenance. I'll bet you 10 bucks in your first few times talking to him he'll exclaim he's looking for someone who can "keep up with him." And why does he need to declare his frequent trips to Vegas? Sooooo he likes hookers and drugs or what? I really don't understand why he put that in there...

Also, I don't think that's his dog, girl. I'd bet you 10 more dollars it is someone else's dog that he just took a photo with. And you know you can't trust a man that borrows a dog...

...I'm just sayin'...

Tammy said...

While this guy doesn't seem fantastic, I would definitely choose him over the last 3! I never thought about saying that he can "speak intelligently about many things". But, I agree, when I've come across somebody who makes it a point to say this, they are usually an idiot.

I'd be up for a younger guy myself. I'm 35 and sick and tired of being pursued by 50+ year old men.

Oh, but this statement would have sent me screaming in the opposite direction, though:
"Some day I would like to raise a family and be a good husband and father"

Nope, not gonna happen here.

Braja said...

Charmaine...it's nearly 2009 here... have a wonderful night and a great year, and thank you for finding me on the blogosphere :)) xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

No expert here, but his photos seem notoriously like actor's photos, as though he's auditioning for something, as does the profile, outdoorsy AND intelligent. AND a cook, AND wants to be a husband/father. Seems like a bit too much of a people pleaser. But hey, give him a try. Not likely to be your WORST date ever.

Hedgie said...

Charmaine, my squeezable bundle of dimpled giblets, how could you possibly resist those "come-hither" eyes?

The dog's, I mean.

Dump the guy; walk the dog.

What better way to spent New Year's Eve? Alone under the stars with woman's best friend? Enjoy.

Susan's Snippets said...

Just keep us posted about how it all works out...my gut (which is increasingly large and getting larger...HOLIDAYS please stop!!) tells me that he thinks he is way too cool!!

happy post-yule

Michelle J said...

HNY Charmaine!

Keep it real in 09!!!

I got nothing else!!!

Hedgie said...

Leaving for a gathering in the company of tarts. Happy New Year.

Charmaine said...

RAcing - I agree. Evil endlessly advised, "I'm a good guy". I have NEVER said "I'm a good woman" cuz...um, duh it would be a lie. hee hee

Michelle - I can IMAGINE.

SSP - Yea. I don't think he has called. Someone is calling. I never pick up until I know who they are.

Pauls Healthblog - Yep. That's it.

Da Old Man - I KNOW. I'm not single because Mars did not properly align with Jupiter ya know. (It's me)

Hedgie - Yes I TOTALLY noted the dogs "body language" ha ha

Dian - He does look a bit gay. At the least, metrosexual.

Captain Dumbass - Hi. One word, surge protector.

Jim - Save me.

b luis gray - How FUN.

Mama Dawg - I need all the luck I can get. Jeesh

Mike Valentino - Please alert the media.

LL - Working on it. I've been in a funk lately.

ginger b - I think yer onto to something

Tammy - Family is a deal breaker. I forgot to mention, I no longer produce Estrogen. woops

Braja - Love ya

Fu Manchu - No date could ever surpass Dr. Cop-A-Feel

Susans Snippets - 10:4

Michelle J. - Word up Sista

Fragrant Liar said...

Um, are you done with him? Cuz if you are, I'll take him off your hands...

Actually, my hubby was 16 years younger than me, and it actually worked out great -- we split because of age-unrelated issues. So cougar-schmougar. Age ain't nothin' but a number. It's all about personality and compatibility. And maybe sex.


Briana said...

Has it ever occurred to you that if you look specifically for flaws, you will find them? No one's perfect, and you can't really judge them from some stupid profile (as proof - see yours). I think he's worth at least a phone call to see if there is any truth to the speaking intelligently.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't take him either Charmaine..I wouldn't even take him for a "lay"...
This is another of those Run, and run fast the other way..kind of guys.
Too good looking, too charming, too full of himself if you ask me...

I love looking at them but know I'm not ever going to find one like that.
One that's real, that is.

I don't like dating guys younger either. Nor too old either. And for sure, the ones my age want younger models. Why, I ask??

P.O.M. said...

Sorry - been crazy busy so I'm behind here.

Uhm - he seems like one of the guys I would date. Send him my way.

Lea said...

I personally prefer younger men, like 35 to my 44... however quite a few times (including on POF) I've had men err children around 22-28 want to meet me!

My reply: "Thanks for the offer, but I don't date men that are the same age, close to the same age or younger than my oldest child. And he's 24"

Oh the indignation I get in replies. The horror of it all, she doesn't want to date someone that is young enough for her to have given birth to!!

Yeah. I've not had much luck on POF or any other dating site I've signed up for. I'll probably be single the rest of my life *sigh*

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