I was driving to the store. I got stuck behind the gardeners truck.
On the back of his truck he had a sign, "Jesus Loves You".
Not a small sign, it was HUGE.
I thought, "Jesus Christ". (It's not an official prayer)
Then I thought, 'Jesus Loves me, good to know'. Now why don't you stop leaving leaves, dirt and debris in my garbage cans mother fucker? And stop with the leaf blower already. Get a rake.
When I got home, I slammed my hand in my car door. Yep, God gets you back for being a heretic. I tried to pull my hand out. I couldn't do it. I scrambled for my keys, tried to unlock the door.
It's no big deal. I have a purple hand, that's all.
Ow ow ow..is all I have to say.
Charmaine
Thanks Sparkle!
Someone finally understands me
Check her out.
About Me
- Charmaine
- Co-workers created my identity on a dating website. After pretending to be me they let me in on the secret. I was very shy but went with it. They lined up outside my office every morning to hear the gory details of each hilariously disastrous date. I started this for them.
"Who does a girl have to sleep with to get this award?" Wait, I just got one. (faints)
Then another... and another...
Look Mom, I got an AWARD
Thanks Comedy Goddess
Thanks Crotchety Old Man
How to deal with dating
Thanks Braja
Thanks Irish Gumbo
Thanks Ann's Rants
Thanks Desert Diva
Networked Blogs
4 comments:
Well it could have been "Jesus love you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole."
Hope the hand feels better.
Jeez, you're not having the best of luck lately...
Hope the hand heals quick!
But Jesus does love you, Charmaine.
Hope that finger gets well soon. I've done the same thing before - except it was in third grade.
Paul
Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com
Jaayyyysssuuusss Woman ... you're going to be handless come Sunday if you aren't more careful!
Oh it is Sunday ... yup ... Hand check time. Lemme see em!
Post a Comment