Thursday, July 23, 2009

Do I Love You or Hate You?

I instigate the push-pull in relationships. I'm the make-up/break-up Queen. I pull closer, then push away. It's important to recognize you have a problem:

"Hello, my name is Charmaine. I'm a push-puller". I also wear a push up bra. Is that relevant?

On the way to dinner my date swerved into Macy's. I was telling him the story about how Christmas ended when my father died.

My sisters and I received stockings that year. They contained (3) pairs of underwear. I stole one of my sisters panties and replaced it with one of mine. (She got the cute ones.) A fight broke out. We pulled at the underwear from opposite sides until it ripped. (Like rats fighting over a crumb.)
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We girls faced different dangers after my fathers death. We weren't quite grown up. Like cakes pulled from the oven too soon. The outside was done, the inside needed more time.

Things happen. Some not so savory. Some men try to take advantage.

"Despite our differences, my sisters and I had one thing in common," I said to my date.

Then I choked up. I could feel the tears. He put his hand on my knee. I dropped the conversation.

What I was going to say was, "We learned we would never be protected again". I wanted to cry (not for me), because I'd wanted to protect my sisters. I believe, I failed.

At Macy's he bought me shoes and sunglasses. I fought him on this. I'm not good at "receiving" AND I hate to shop. People giving me things, makes me ansy.

On the way out he asked, "How old were you again when there stopped being a Santa?"

"19" I replied.

"Well, Santa's back" he said.
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Go ahead, judge him. Even Senorita.

7 comments:

Senorita said...

OMG, thanks for the mention, I believe this is the first time I've been pimped out :)

A man comparing himself to Santa Clause ? Sooo unbelievable cliche. Especially since they usually think they're more generous than they really are.

Charmaine said...

Senorita - I know what you are saying. But men can't all be the monsters we make them out to be just because a few... were monstrous.

But I agree with you. It is better to keep your guard up.

Love,
Char

SSP said...

i don't think any man has ever bought me any thing...oh dinner here and there, and i think i got flowers once, so hell yeah, virginia, there is a santa claus if you can get shoes and shades!!

PaulsHealthBlog.com said...

One December day, when I was a kid, I remember continually pestering my mother about Santa Claus.

Did he really exist? Was the legend true? Was it all make-believe?

On and on I went, trying to wear her down. I wanted to get to the truth of the matter, you see.

Finally, after she had enough, my mother looked at me and said, "If you don't believe, then you don't get anything."

I never questioned her about Santa again.

Paul

Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com

SweetPeaSurry said...

What a sweet gesture! Santa's back ... he he

love ya girl!

Briana said...

I don't specifically recall the panty wars, but since I remember the rest, I think I understand what the King meant.

I don't think he was comparing himself to Santa as just a giver of gifts, just as I don't think that Charmaine's reference to Santa and Christmas had anything to do with the lack of gifts.

When someone is choking up while discussing the death of her father, it would indeed be odd if that person interpreted the emotion as being caused by the ensuing lack of presents.

I think in this very cute way, he was telling Charmaine that he would provide some of the security and protection (not in a financial sense) that she lost when our father died.

King, if you are reading this, I better be right about this or I am going to be really pissed.

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