I instigate the push-pull in relationships. I'm the make-up/break-up Queen. I pull closer, then push away. It's important to recognize you have a problem:
"Hello, my name is Charmaine. I'm a push-puller". I also wear a push up bra. Is that relevant?
On the way to dinner my date swerved into Macy's. I was telling him the story about how Christmas ended when my father died.
My sisters and I received stockings that year. They contained (3) pairs of underwear. I stole one of my sisters panties and replaced it with one of mine. (She got the cute ones.) A fight broke out. We pulled at the underwear from opposite sides until it ripped. (Like rats fighting over a crumb.)
We girls faced different dangers after my fathers death. We weren't quite grown up. Like cakes pulled from the oven too soon. The outside was done, the inside needed more time.
Things happen. Some not so savory. Some men try to take advantage.
"Despite our differences, my sisters and I had one thing in common," I said to my date.
Then I choked up. I could feel the tears. He put his hand on my knee. I dropped the conversation.
What I was going to say was, "We learned we would never be protected again". I wanted to cry (not for me), because I'd wanted to protect my sisters. I believe, I failed.
At Macy's he bought me shoes and sunglasses. I fought him on this. I'm not good at "receiving" AND I hate to shop. People giving me things, makes me ansy.
On the way out he asked, "How old were you again when there stopped being a Santa?"
"19" I replied.
"Well, Santa's back" he said.
Go ahead, judge him. Even Senorita.