I was driving to the store. I got stuck behind the gardeners truck.
On the back of his truck he had a sign, "Jesus Loves You".
Not a small sign, it was HUGE.
I thought, "Jesus Christ". (It's not an official prayer)
Then I thought, 'Jesus Loves me, good to know'. Now why don't you stop leaving leaves, dirt and debris in my garbage cans mother fucker? And stop with the leaf blower already. Get a rake.
When I got home, I slammed my hand in my car door. Yep, God gets you back for being a heretic. I tried to pull my hand out. I couldn't do it. I scrambled for my keys, tried to unlock the door.
It's no big deal. I have a purple hand, that's all.
Ow ow ow..is all I have to say.