Friday, July 10, 2009

The King Bites the Dust!

Listen to Cassini’s Ave Marie sung by Inessa Galante.

I apologize for the flowers. Look away from the monitor. I mean it. Turn your head to the side. Do not, I repeat do NOT look at the tulips. They are evil.

Turn off the lights. (Classical music is best appreciated in the dark.) This music can communicate suffering like no other medium. You can feel it. If not, you might be dead. Or dumb.

But I don’t like to judge.

Last night? I did nothing other then:

Try to figure out why “The King” disappeared on me. We spent the 4th of July weekend together. He gave me a tour of his company. Did the security cameras reveal that I am actually an international terrorist? (It happens.)

He installed a motion detector light outside my house. (Thank you King.) It flicks on 30 times a night flooding the darkness with streams of light transforming my tiny abode into a 21st century replica of Auschwitz. (All I need are sirens and a machine gun.)

I returned his call on Wed. (We had plans). He didn't pick up. I'm tired of trying to figure out this Prima Donna. I went out with someone else instead. My date and I went to the place I was meant to go with The King. It was packed with teeny boppers (people under the age of 23.) We both said, simultaneously, "hell no".

We had dinner instead. My date said, "You KNOW I'm the one you really want." Then he said, "Kiss me". Then he said, "You're spending the night with me".

That's where I drew the line. "Nope, not gonna happen" I replied. "You have a big brain Charmaine" he said. "It's too bad you use it on such small things".

"You mean like on YOU?" I said. Then I drove home.


f1trey said...

dont be tired just yet...... some pearls dont come out of the shell without some prying.....and then again....maybe ill just have the lobster....

Mrs. K said...

well he disappeared because he probably found something better to do- some men suffer from that 'there must be something better out there than this' disease.

and now he's too embarassed to call you but he will- no worries- he'll say he tried to buy you x but they were all out. and then you'll live happily ever after for a week or two. and the cycle will repeat itself. :)

he'll come on this and read and complain that some people are not saying nice things about him and pout a bit.

There are much better fish in the sea than this ms. c. but you're not even in the water yet! you're picking through fungus and mold! and seem to like the mushrooms (get it? moldy, fungi? K of P) ;) get out in the water!

And you're right- those tulips are evil.

LL said...

I wonder if that line ever works...


SweetPeaSurry said...

Well hells bells this guy is a mystery ... either that or he's mystery meat. I haven't decided.

Your other date sounded like a real charmer. I think you need to move to the midwest where we grow our boys up right!

Michelle said...

You have the weirdest dating life I have ever read about. EVAH!!!

HumorSmith said...

I think I like you. Smart, funny, pretty, and mean. My kinda woman!