I had another date with “The King of Produce”.
We met for drinks and sushi. There were several martinis.
As we went to leave he started climbing trees in the parking lot. Two (2) trees to be exact. Men have advised I make them feel young again but this was ridiculous.
My cousin says there is Testosterone in my saliva.
After kissing me I think men simply try to get away.
A strange man emerged from the darkness like an errant fan. He gazed adoringly at my date perched 12 feet above him in the tree. (Why isn't there a film crew following me?) The man returned to his car to produce a small dog that he wanted to introduce to my date. You know, the man IN THE TREE!
What the HELL? As my cousin says, “you can’t make this shit up”.
The following day my date sent me the picture of the nuns which made me laugh out loud.
A couple of days later he advised he was conducting a command performance in a Magnolia tree outside a local restaurant and would I like to join him? Sigh. I said, "no" I've already seen this act.
34 comments:
That could have been a submission for a show like "America's Funniest Dating Home Videos". I enjoyed dropping by your blog! Looks like you have some interesting adventures to share. Thanks for commenting on my blog too! I'll be back to visit.
is that your date on the first picture? bald men are weird- I know I married one.
Hey don't despair...at 38, with a child, I had NEVER been married (talk about being the whore of a catholic family!) and I finally had given up when lo and behold I met my now husband....the bald one. We met, 5 months later we married. We've only been married about 17 months but we haven't killed each other and that in itself is a feat for me.
Don't give up...there is hope for everyone especially if I got married!
I got a little nervous with the random stranger bit, but all in all doesn't sound half bad. Especially the making out like teenagers! I'd give anything not to make out like old married people (especially given the fact we're young!)
You sure can pick them.
how can i say it, men never grow up!!! I used to date older men, but now they are too old to date.
ck out my new blog and old one too
kate
Sounds like a fun night out! Doing it again soon?
After a recent breakup with the one that I swore was "the one" I've been on a couple of dates with an old friend who lost his wife about 13 months ago to a sudden stroke. "The one" was emotionally unavailable. The "Old Friend" is thoroughly available and very affectionate. The one was only affectionate during "the act" of lovemaking. Obviously, an act. I told Old Friend to slow down, that I wasn't going anywhere, and to not be so damn frantic! The poor man is suffering as I have only let him kiss me on the cheek!! Making out in the parking lot sounds fun, but he too would probably be so excited he'd end up in a tree like a monkey too! LOL! Slow down there girlfriend!! LOL, Lisa
You made out with him again? What happened to your vow to never do that again? *sigh*
Charm, Charm, Charm... whatever are we going to do with you? ;)
People,
How I love you guys. I have only three (3) things to say:
A. They say that menopause decreases a womens...uh...er, you know.
B. It's not true.
C. I was basiclly frigid up until a couple of weeks ago.
D. I mean four (4) things to say. If kissing is my biggest crime combined with the fact that I was on a date with a man who climbed two trees after making out with me....seriously...I wish I WISH I had taken my video camera. It was NOT to be believed.
The making out was so, um, ya know, that the next day I noticed one of my hair extensions in the door jam of my passenger seat. Yea, I don't remember being over there. hiccup.
sounds like a super duper hilarious nite out!! :)
Well, it sounds like you're having fun to me!
I dont get the whole climbing tree thing; is that a metaphor, or did he actually climb a real tree? It is too early on a Monday morning for me to understand these things. Dating has changed since I last went out, I am glad I am married now. And why did he do such a thing?
At least he hasn't invited himself out to the 'sun-shaded glade for naughty tryst'!
ugh ... I had some loonies get in touch with me via POF ... some hotties too though.
*sighs*
He climbed a tree?? As long as the sparks were flying, i guess it could be worse.......
and he likes martinis? he's in.
So your date went tree climbing in a suit after making out with you in the car like a teenager? Did he pay? If so, all's good! LOL!
It has been a while since you posted; I was starting to worry maybe you were a sex slave somewhere...
Maybe in his former life, the King of Produce was a monkey.
Paul
Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com
P.S. Hair extensions?
The entire after-the-makeout session has a giant WTF! Don't you have a camera on your phone? You had a gold mine on your hands, girl!
At least he wasn't dull and you weren't bored!
Hey, at least he's agile! That can become very important as you progress through "middle age" dating. (You have a ceiling fan over your bed?) Possibilities are off the charts!
It has to be true because it's just too freakin' weird to make up. LOL funny stuff!
Just swapped some spit with my hubby to see if I had any tetosterone in my salvia....he didn't climb a tree, so I guess not.
Evidently, we just share a name, not superhuman (spit) powers.
Dammit.
Colorado?
Your story was extremely touching. Your expressiveness demonstrates what an incredible connection you had with this other person and I can sympathize and relate to every word.
Incredible. Can't think of anything else to say.
Ummm...treemendous experience? Your date branched off on the way to the car? He wanted you to leaf him alone?
Maybe he's a treesexual.
if for nothing more, i am sticking around to see what happens next...trees??? what could he have done if there had been a bulldozer near by? waiting to see...
and i agree..womens "urges" do not subside with menopause...they get deeper
Oh my word. The King of Produce sounds like a hoot! He must be a good kisser if you didn't run away when he climbed the tree. Right?
He climbed a tree?? Seriously? I thought that I had heard it all before this!
So, was there some story about how much he enjoyed climbing trees as a young prince of produce or just unannounced tree climbing? Too weird.
Never a dull moment... LOL!
Learn to speak to your man.
not going all homo on you or anything (not that there is anything wrong with that) but maybe I need some of your testosterone infused saliva to jump start this "ehhhhh whatever" attitude I have towards men these days....I am not a fan of the King of Produce, but hey, at least you are OUT there!!!
Hey girlie,
Climbing tree's is fun!!!
Hey, magnolia trees can be fun...get with the program, Char :)
Charmaine- You crack me up! How can someone as fun as you have so many weird dates? You'll probably appreciate my blog at http://middleagedbabemagnet.blogspot.com/
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