Monday, April 20, 2009

Matador's Kill

Matadors kill bulls. Gigantic, cluessless animals.

I'm not cynical.

I'm pretty optimistic. Even in the face of destruction. (It's the liquor.)

But my "con man" light just came on. (It's next to the brake light.) I've never been vulnerable. "The King" left me feeling vulnerable. Heart cracked open.

Something isn't right. The Argentinian (Matador) is trying too hard. He made an appointment with his sports doctor to look at my leg. (It went numb. I stumble when I walk.) Or is he just being "the man"?

He calls me "baby".

He talks funny.

He's too handsome.

His Mercedes is too old. I know, that's a terrible thing to say. One of the buttons on his shirt was cracked. He thinks because I live in Corona Del Mar that I'm rich.

I'll tell him I'm a pauper.

Then we'll find out.

12 comments:

Mrs. K said...

I have a saying- all flash, no cash. Keep your eyes open when he pays- does he struggle to come up with the cash to pay? (ie wallet, pockets, etc.) keep your eyes open but have fun. you know? and then come back and talk about the things that don't fit in so we can all commiserate :)

I once dated a guy who drove a beautiful jaguar- it was not the cheap one. We always met somewhere and when I finally got into his car I realized his car on the inside was falling apart- the stick was a screwdriver!

Joanie M said...

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who thought something wasn't kosher with this Latin lover. Wait until he asks you to cash some money orders or wants to deposit money in an account for you.

Michele said...

He will so disappoint me if he turns out to be a schmuck. Then we will have to send someone after him. I'm not sure who but there must be someone.

Michelle said...

Strange!

Ann's Rants said...

Maybe he's the one that gets away and then you find a solid, awesome person. Less flashy, but makes you laugh until you pee.

That's what I'm wishin' for you today.

Comedy Goddess said...

I think if your instincts are bristling, then you should honor that feeling.

Hedgie said...

You should realize by now that if something seems too good to be true, it's not true.

Tell the gaucho your financial advisor insists that you must secure a full-disclosure credit report on him before you can date him again. Also, you need a report on his current emigration status.

Try the cold showers. Really.

Lisa said...

Definitely lay the trap. Why not listen to your instincts?

JIMSIGHT said...

So the king was a banderillero? oh dear..

hey at least your busy..not sure what else to say..

sheesh I guess my jag is the cheap kind though, but you already knew that.. haahahahah.. will bring the beamer for our next outing.. oh wait its the cheap kind too. ahahahahaha

talk to you on the flip side..

webberpa said...

But what about the SEX? I wanna hear more good stuff, before you find out he is actually a chauffer or something...enjoy what you can and share, baby, I was like hangin on to the last post. Seriously, everyone has flaws, even you my dear. Even ME!! :)-

Loving Annie said...

Got to watch out for the gold-diggers. Men do it too. Sad. I hope you're wrong, but pay attention to your instincts Charmaine --

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