Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Cure

I'm cured. I can feel my leg.

The Matador took me to a sports Chiropractor. (Is looking for love a sport?) The man cured me with crazy contraptions one of which was a gigantic black vibrating thing. I said, "Don't you DARE come near me with that thing." He laughed.

Guess who was to blame for my paralyzed right leg?

You guessed it. It was the King.

The Chiropractor advised the "problem" was my left hip. Huh? Did you run into something, like a desk perhaps, about a week ago?"

"Uh...No." I replied. (I did however run into The King.)

In talking to "The King" he reminded me that he'd carried me to my bedroom, ya know, before I slapped him. You can't do that without smashing my head, (in this case hip) against the door jam. I told him that I since I got old I can't remember a thing. He said said since he met me me he can't remember where he is or whether or not he has kids. (He does.)

Then the Matador took me to lunch. When he picked me up he stopped his car in the middle of the street. He rushed around to open the door. He is very good looking and full of Argentinian bravado. I saw my neighbours. They were are all watching. They stop raking, stop watering the yard, stop everything...to look at us. I thought about blowing kissess...

I was a chatterbox. Either The Matador could care less or he doesn't understand English.

He just stared at my boobs.

17 comments:

♥ Braja said...

C'mon, you're the neighbors' only real entertainment...all that glamor in their street, they can't blieve it...:)
xxx

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

I see a reality show blooming here! Better to be gawked at than not at all..LOL!

webberpa said...

So, once more I have to say, lemme get this straight...the "Matador" sweeps you off your feet, takes you to a doctor who fixes up yer bum leg with a big black vibrator, takes you to lunch, is a perfect gentleman (to the utter astonishment of your neighbors), listens to you yackity yackity yack, stares at yer boobs( a perfectly good pastime while you are chatting away), and tries to give you a smooch and you are not in the mood. DAMN.

JIMSIGHT said...

Are you neighbors gay? not that there is anything wrong with that. Just trying to figure out who they were looking at.. maybe they were wondering why his car was so old?

Oh no and I spent all my time trying not to stare at... lol you know..

Mrs. K said...

so did you put your finger on it yet? or has he put his finger on it!? ew! sorry...bad. :) i couldn't resist.

Char said...

I must've missed some relative info on the Matador. I'm still backtracking, trying to figure out what I've missed that transended from the 'tree climber' to the bullfighter. I am sooo confused!

LL said...

He stared at your boobs? Well from what I've seen... I suppose they do translate well.

High Desert Diva said...

Yay for the matador taking you to get "the cure".

Boo hiss at boob staring.

Michelle said...

Your so chatty these days!!!

Charmaine said...

Yea people. Something isn't right with the Matador. I don't know, maybe it's the fact that he is not a citizen. And his career is "sketchy". He's working on "projects".

He took me to but I stilled paid.

Tree Climber is still around. So is Chris.

I can date more then one man because I only "kiss and run". No hanky panky.

Hedgie said...

Should we start addressing you as "Little Miss Green Card"?

we're doomed said...

The matador is a wise man with good taste in women. He of course, should have paid for the meal.

Fragrant Liar said...

All I gotta say is, I hope you charged him plenty for the look-see.

Briana said...

I know what you are talking about. Once a VERY good-looking guy (who thought he was my boss) asked me out for drinks after work at the Mezzanine at the Hotel Boulderado in Boulder.

We walked in and everyone stared at us. They were probably thinking what is that hot guy doing with that chic!

I gave him a ride home. He invited me in, which I politely declined (I'm no idiot), and that was the end of that.

Briana said...

Charmaine, do you remember the ill-fated Tom Jones concert, after which some "Argentine political leaders" came to our house? What do you suppose that meant? Probably just a different term for "projects"!

SweetPeaSurry said...

Hmmm isn't boob starage indicative of actual love? Isn't that what all men do? Jeez ... you're right ... this dating stuff stinks!

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