Monday, April 13, 2009

The End of Dating

I recently penning a post entitled "The End of Dating". I was gonna throw in the towel.

A friend and successful author, after reading about my recent escapades, commented, "Charmaine, you must have nerves of steel."

She's right. I do.

If I can tussle with armed guards in Israel holding bayonets to my throat, I can handle another date.

On a subsequent date with "The King of Produce" I arrived at the restaurant where he was waiting atop a nearby tree to serenade me with a rendition of "Stand By Me".

After cajoling him out of the tree the doorman refused to allow us entry. He did not approve of people who disturb the peace. (My date has a baritone voice which...um...carries.)

Somehow "The King " and I convinced him to let us in.

There were young kids everywhere. I suggested to "The King" that we find an establishment where we might enjoy the company of adults.

In a perverse act of rebellion against this suggestion he lifted me under my bum, into the air, and demanded that I kiss him.

Several young men of the approximate age of twenty five (25) rushed in to make his acquaintance, shake his hand and congratulate him on his "spectacular moves".

His performance had nothing to do with me. In fact, I've never met a man less interested in me. He needs to be the star and he was. I was merely a vehicle.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Charmaine is nobodies vehicle.

19 comments:

cw2smom said...

Oh Char..I am sorry he was soooo self-absorbed! I had a couple like that! But, I have lucked out! I have recently ended a relationship with Cave Man and began seeing an old work buddy whose wife died about 15 months ago! He's totally devoted to me and I am smitten! We'll see how it goes! I don't envy you in this dating stuff. I did the online dating thing for awhile and it just made me insane..well, crazier! LOL! Can't wait to hear the rest of the story! Blessings, Lisa

Jen said...

Oh my, and he sounded like so much fun before. Self-absorbed, egocentric men? No thank you!

Seeker said...

RUN CHAR....RUN. Follow your instincts and RUN.

Mike said...

Please don't tell me you went out with him again?

ARCHAVIST said...

Someone has lovely looking as you are should have them breaking down the door for a date. I would myself only I'm cream crackered at the moment.

Michele said...

You do not want to go out with him again. Run like the wind!

Michelle said...

Hello girlie,
So, first and foremost NOBODY PUTS CHAR IN A CORNER OR IN A TREE OR ANYWHERE FOR THAT MATTER!!!

At this point you may as well date me!! I would treat you nice and wouldn't lift you up by your bum - at least not in public!!!! :O)

Seriously, woman run don't walk and leave produce man in the trees!!!!

Mrs. K said...

hmm...odd- just odd. Him not you of course. Unless you like that kind of stuff :)

SweetPeaSurry said...

He he he ... All my 'dates' have asked me for is sex. I guess that includes kissing and stuff. At least they're not DEMANDING about it though. What can I say ... I'm built like a sex machine!!!

Joanie M said...

I think he gives "self-absorbed" a whole new meaning.

Comedy Goddess said...

I am not married, but I am in a relationship with one guy. Somedays I wish I wasn't because there are some very intriguing men around. Sigh.

JIMSIGHT said...

Ciao Charmaine vedo che lei colpiscono tuttavia la sua testa contro il muro. Buono per lei. L'Italia è stata meravigliosa, tuttavia qui per un'altra due settimane. Lei è sicuro che non la drogava? Lei si prende cura, forse possiamo bere qualcosa quando torno a casa.

Jim

webberpa said...

Now let me get this straight, you go on a date with a produce guy(fruits and vegetables) who climbs up in a tree while singing badly enough for it to be considered disturbing the peace, takes you to McyD's and to impress you, grabs yer bums for a big old wet one and gets a guy audience to yell bravo! I wonder why you dont curse like your mum. Maybe you should hook him up with her. Or perhaps you should NOT date guys they let out of the psych ward for the weekend. Heck, at least there were KIDS!!!

Loving Annie said...

Oh geez, dating can be so depressing sometimes. Thank goodness you saw through his crap - but still, damnit I want your Prince to find you. Soon.

echidna girl said...

You go girl.

Isn't it nice to be old enough to recognize these things.

Be 25 again? Hells no!

namaste said...

dating sucks. i have more single years under my belt than married ones. i've seen the king in the tree before. good for you for keeping the bar of expectation high for yourself. your prince will find you!

~maria

Tammy said...

Good for you for persevering!

Me, I've written off dating quite a while ago due to men almost exactly like the "King".

High Desert Diva said...

Bye bye King....

HealthNutWannaBeDad said...

You said several 25 year olds there were kids!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

You are middle aged, indeed.

Paul

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