Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Stood Up!

Okay, I wasn't actually stood up (he cancelled three hours before he was meant to arrive)...something about a sick Aunt.

Aunt?

I hope my Aunt's not sick. I wouldn't know.

So...I called the man I always call. He has decided he is my "back up" man. He likes the role because he says, "there is so much room for improvement".

I had a great time. As usual, it ended on a questionable note. His 80 year old father called while we were having dinner. He put me on the phone.

I fell in love with the irascible old codger. I asked what he wanted, "Two scotch's and two women" he said.

He advised his son was a "con-man and to watch out".

Be still my beating heart.

There is something about laying-it-on-the-line. I like older men. After all, I'm in love with "Hedgie"? Maybe I just like smart DIRTY old men.

So...I ate ALL the prosciutto from the salad I never made. Then I went to a little market.

This nice man who flirts with me, told me I looked "great". Huh? I had NO make-up on, baggy grey sweat pants with stains on them. I hadn't bothered comb my hair.

I don't go to his shop much because he won't let me go. He keeps talking...talking and talking...I get caught in the force field of his gaze. He said he's been walking the stairs in Corona Del Mar Beach every morning hoping to run into me. He remembers everything.

I knew. Right then and there. He loves me.

I've known him for years. He's starting to bald. He has brown skin and green eyes. He's from another country. His eyes are kind. He owns a small business.

I could do worse. I feel like getting married. I'll sign a pre-nup. I don't want anything. I just want to sleep in the arms of someone who loves me.

How did the man-ass kicker come to this?

Who knows? Does it really matter?

All I can say is on the precipace of 50, a woman can grow up. At least I know what I want now...it's a relief.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFMC1N3L3n4 I love this song, with some re-writes. When she says, "Do the best that I can", insert, "Kick you in the ass". It just makes the song better.

14 comments:

Little Ms Blogger said...

Sorry the date didn't work out, but it sounded like you had fun and the food you were serving looked yummy.

I thought only women about to turn 40 felt the need to marry? I didn't know it happened to women turning 50...

Anonymous said...

Little Ms Blogger...yes, it does happen to women about to turn 50..I'm three years from there and thought I'd not want another man in my life after my divorce 5 1/2 yrs ago..
Well, I started feeling those things just like Charmaine..(not to say that I don't still think men are complete asses and idiots)and when I wasn't looking, "He" popped into my life and my heart...
So far, it's good and I'm wanting it to stay this way.

So Charmaine..you know my thoughts...men are still asses but sometimes we really do need to have that loved feeling that doesn't and can't just come from family and friends.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Good to know. I'll be able to prep myself again because many of my friends were out of control.

Hedgie said...

After all, I'm in love with "Hedgie"? Maybe I just like smart DIRTY old men.

I'll have you know I bathe once every six months whether I need to or not. So there.

I know what you really want to get your hands on -- my recipes. Well, little missy, just think again -- the sesame-gingered pork with pineapple glaze and pear salsa is mine, all mine, and I'll not give it up, do you hear?

*mutter mutter* Thinks she can sweet-talk me outta my pork tenderloin, does she? Ha! I say. Verily and forsooth HA!

Charmaine said...

I'm gonna get you Hedgie. Give me time.

PS: You shouldn't really eat pork. Have you seen pigs? Who ever looked at a pig and thought,"that looks delicious".

Further, who ever watched a chicken lay an egg thinking,"I want to eat that".

K. Send over the damn recipes already.

Are you blind? Can't you see how cute I am for an old broad? Plus, I can kick your ass AND read and understand your stupid literature. I just don't hide there. AND...this is my killer blow...I can play Chopin.

Charmaine said...

Hedgie,

Lastly, "verily and forsooth"?

Are you living inside a copy of the Canturbery Tales?

Not old English old man, use new English.

You and your loin, pork or otherwise, need to get with it.

Hedgie said...

You shouldn't really eat pork. Have you seen pigs? Who ever looked at a pig and thought,"that looks delicious".

In a word, moi. Have you never seen the delicate golden glow that surrounds a well-fed porker when it's silhouetted in all its succulent glory against a gracefully setting sun?

AND...this is my killer blow...I can play Chopin.

Well, sweetie, not to boast but, er, um, ah, so can I. I, too, had 10 years of piano lessons.

K. Send over the damn recipes already

Right. And if you get your hands on my pork tenderloin, what are you gonna wanna get your hands on next? What do you take me for? I'm not that kind of guy.

Char said...

Oooops, excuse me, am I interrupting something here? Is this real? Are you two just yanking our chains? LIBD!

Good for you!

Paul Eilers said...

I guess that's why they call it middle aged dating?

Paul

Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com

Charmaine said...

ha ha ha.

Gotta love the Hedge.

Okay...that was not really my killer blow. My REAL killer blow is that I look cute in a silk halter top.

I can just sit there in the candlelight, rattle off Sonnets while fondling an un-published thesis.

Hmmm?

Anonymous said...

You two are TOOOO Funny!!!!

Hedgie said...

My REAL killer blow is that I look cute in a silk halter top.

O my malleable morsel of mango, if you have to wear the halter top, silk or otherwise, to look cute, something is very definitely awry. After all, the tastiest peach is peeled.

Hedgie said...

But I'll not be lured into responding to the "fondling" comment. Nope. Not me. Uh - uh. No indeedy. I'll not go there. Nosirreebob, I won't.

(Why am I suddenly imagining soft, warm, ripened, palm-nestling figs? Damn, I went there.)

Hedgie said...

(Brown Turkeys, of course.)