Saturday, June 27, 2009

Men, Sex and Pasta

1. If I hear another Michael Jackson song I'm going to throw something.

2. If someone writes, "Dummies Guide to Men, Sex and Pasta" I'd like to pre-order it.
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3. Pretty little song by Aria: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFMC1N3L3n4

The man (below) is back and asking for a date. His cat recently died. He's in mourning. My first reaction was, "does he dress up like a girl on weekends too?"
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Then I thought, cats are aloof, occasionally affectionate and scratch....he might like me.

4. I awoke this morning tangled in my sheets. I must have completed 100 360's having had nightmares, fighting monsters, rapelling out of helicopters and punching men in the nose) ...my hand splint came off in the night. (I must have landed a punch.)

It's like taking off a pair of control top pantie hose. (Exhales)

Instinctively I looked under my pillow to see if the "Splint Fairy" left a quarter.

She didn't.

12 comments:

Irish Gumbo said...

I would write that book, but I don't know how to cook men. Or soemthing like that.

Or maybe it was, I don;t know how to boil sex...

I'm still waiting for my reward from the Ace Bandage Fairy.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Splint Fairy is mean.

Cat guy is cute. But, I'm with you. The only men I know with cats are gay. However, he may have inherited the cat from an ex.

Mrs. K said...

I'm convinced guys who own cats and no women around? something is up

Mrs. K said...

ps- im sick of the MJ hoopla as well

LL said...

Tangled in the sheets you say? I'm wagering it was a mad dream of passionate lovemaking... :ewink:

Charmaine said...

LL: Wrong. I've never had a romantic dream except once when I was 14. I dreamt that Tony Orlando was on a pedestal singing me a love song.

I have to go throw up now. ahhh

Lisa said...

I'm behind in my reading here, but perhaps this particular guy is needy in ways you don't need? Ick to that sentence structure.

LL said...

I find that hard to believe my dear...

The one amorous dream... not the Tony Orlando thing. Did he ask you to tie a yellow ribbon around his... erm... old oak tree?

Charmaine said...

LL - You are a bad bad man. :-)

webberpa said...

I have started writing on that book, sent me $19.95 (plus postage & handling) and you will be the first on my list with a first edition copy, I will even autograph it for you, no extra charge just because you are so damn funny!!!

webberpa said...

Here is a duet for you: Tony Orlando and Wayne Newton, with some back up from the pips... Now you may upchuck.

High Desert Diva said...

Now this guy looks promising.....