Friday, June 12, 2009

Enough Men

Dating is not heaven:
The playboy (a.k.a. Gardener) is calling. (There he goes again...third call this morning.) But I'm sick of his Prada shirts, Versace shoes and Rolex...yawn. "I've driven a Porsche Carerra since I was 16" he says. He drove so fast it made me scream. I punched him in the arm and demanded "Let me OUT of this car IMMEDIATELY".
He refers to me as "his girlfriend" after three dates. His last girlfriend was 23. I advised this made him an idiot. He said I was jealous explaining, "a man gets away with what he can".
Still, there were moments. (I know he's lonely and misguided. ) One day we were discussing the global economy. A look crossed his face. "Talking politics with you is so sexy" he said. He grabbed me. "Slow down. Why don't you pace yourself already?" I said. "Because I'm over 45" he responded.

One day we were driving down the street here in Corona Del Mar. The roads are narrow. There are unwritten driving laws in these parts. He correctly pulled to the side waiting for a woman to proceed so we could pass. We waited...she wouldn't move. Soon several cars were behind us. Still, she would not move. (Obviously not a local.) He blew up, got out of the car and walked to hers calling her an unspeakable name, flailing his arms and yelling.
A man mowing his lawn stopped to watch...waiting to intervene. I made apologetic sign language signals to the woman followed by charade gestures that communicated..."I know he's an ass, but back up so we can all get past." When she failed to respond, I confess, I got a little mad too.
She rolled down the window, "Are you going to yell at me in front of my kid? I'm a lawyer you know" she said. He replied, "Okay, give me your business card bitch". "I don't really practise law anymore" She said.

I felt humiliation and anger at the same time.

After 10 minutes in the street I told him to make a gesture to back up (he did after I told him she was calling the police). Then she moved. (I live here, I know the rules. She should have me.) Still...
I could have excused the power stuggle if he handn't used the C word.

There are the usual cast of characters asking for dates.

No one interests me.

I'm retired.


High Desert Design Council said...

Tell me again what went wrong with Colorado?

I think the current retirement plan (at least from these characters) is a smart move. In the meantime, go to Big Daddy's and shop or browse. I'll live vicariously through you....

High Desert Diva said...

Sorry. That was me!

JIMSIGHT said...

What the f word.. how many dates? he cried after he kissed you.. did you have that spicy lipp gloss on or pull one of his nose hairs out or does he just need to refill his prozac script.. wholly cow you truly do live in another dimesion toots..

good luck with your break.. heard that before lasted like a day or something I believe.

SSP said...

charmaine, while you are injured I think you need to take a complete break from men. Perhaps try a woman or two, or absolute celibacy? Men that cry when you kiss them are a little wierd...dontcha think? and ANY guy that gets that upset at a complete stranger has more issues than I'd care to find out about...get rid of him!!! come to hawaii and we will find you a real surfer dude

Hedgie said...

That nunnery's looking better and better, ain't it?

f1trey said...

hehehehe laughing too hard to post something of value! Peace!

Charmaine said...


I am merely reporting the facts. (Note that I rarely editorialize.) I will not remain silent even if you say things like, "you live in another dimension" suggesting I participate in these occurances.

I understand why women remain reticent on the bad behavior of men. Other men either blame the woman for causing the bad behavior or blame her for tolerating it. What men should be saying is, "tell me where he lives so I can kick his ass". That's what I would say.

No one will ever silence me.

I understand your point if you mean to suggest I should stop subjecting myself to this. Truly, a woman like me never sees it coming.

How could I? Unless I assumed all men were bad. I'll never be that metter how many bad experiences I have. I've had a larger number of terrific experiences no man can displace.

JIMSIGHT said...

hmmmmm, not sure what it was exactly that seems to have raised your ire; but the crying game just struck me as being absurd and humorous. It is behavior that just seems to be from another dimension than the one that I inhabit but hey feel free to spew copious amounts of whatever in my direction. With regards to my flippant comments, if I offended you, rest assured that was not my intention, you have my apologies. Far be it from me to try and silence anyone about anything.

Charmaine said...

Okay Jim. We're on different pages.

Stay tuned for tomorrows blockbuster where I shout out to my most recent dates and judge them. It includes judging myself.

I was not going to include you. But now, I might.

(sinister e:wink)

namaste said...

wow, his yelling at that female driver? eek! so embarrassing! i've dated some guys that embarrassed me too. i feel your pain.

at least you can look back and have a good giggle over some of these guys.


LL said...

Did he offer to pay for your hand surgery? Cause if he did... well... go buy another box of Kleenex for him...

But... You're stealing my :ewink: now??? Of all the nerve... :P

Lisa said...

I've been reading several posts back. I've missed a lot of stuff!

Your garden looks great, D. Nagle is a child, you deserve much better, the Porsche guy doesn't seem to be any great shakes either. I don't envy you. I'm not thrilled with the whole wife/mom things I've got going on either. There must be a happy medium somewhere.

Senorita said...

Wow, that guy is a panty waste to the tenth power.

I expect douchey behaviour like that from men under 23. But c'mon, I mean at some point a man has to evolve. Why didn't he get the memo ?

Also sounds like he suffers from SPS: Small Penis Syndrome.

Don said...

Darling, you need to come back to earth. Stop it with these idiots. It's painful to read! God knows what it would be like to be with one of them; even for an evening. Move and don't leave a forwarding address!

JIMSIGHT said...

sinister wink? feel free, don't remember anything special about our date with the exception of you girls flopping to and fro..

Charmaine said...

Hey Jim,

What a great thing to say. I don't remember anything remarkable about you either.

But thanks for bringing up the subject.

What a nice guy. A man like you should probably look up "Spicy Latina". She'll take you for the ride you're looking for.

Former Fat Chick said...

ok, I cuss like a SAILOR, but the C word is an utter deal breaker with me. It is beyond vulgar, to me it is for some reason misogynist.

JIMSIGHT said...

All I meant was nothing special as far as judging the date goes..(I believe thats what you said you were going to do) jeez oh man, not sure why you choose to continuosly take your pot shots at me but hey I can take a hint..

hope your hand heals and that you find what your looking for..

Anonymous said...

The C word is just NASTY!!!!! I hate it, have always hated it...

Any man that calls a woman by the C word is not worth any womans time.... said...

I'm just a small town, southern boy. When I go to places like Washington, D.C. and Chicago, I shortly find myself longing for home.

I say that because, I am always amazed when men call women the "B" word, the "C" word, or any other demeaning and rude behavior.

I have found it is usually better to grit your teeth and keep your mouth shut. Seems that always works out in the long run.


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