Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Playboy

His days might be numbered...

Huh? You thought I dumped him for yelling at that woman? (I wanted to yell at her too).

He called yesterday for a ride to the Porsche dealership. I wouldn't cuz I looked like crap. He sounded really hurt.

Then I cancelled our date for today, partly out of guilt. I lied with epic cowardice (via text message). This may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I say; "I hate playboys "then sabotage a relationship just because I define a man as such. I don't know if he's a playboy. He just fits the mold...black Porsche, cute at hell, boyish charm with octopus hands.

Here's the reason. Because he doesn't kiss me good-bye before he leaves and the last time we went to lunch he didn't hold my hand. I'm a hard grader.

But the second we got home he tried to rip my clothes off.

Things are moving too fast. He hasn't sent me flowers. I think we all know what that means.

He's a nice guy, very handsome, athletic, comes over in a flash to fix anything. He doesn't need to work. Every girls dream, right?

When it's right...things just fall into place?

Not with me. I'm more complicated then a three (3) dollar bill.

Fyi: Happy Bloomsday!!!

Bloomsday is a commemoration observed on 16 June in Dublin to celebrate the life of Irish writer James Joyce and relive the events in his novel Ulysses. The name derives from Leopold Bloom, the protagonist of Ulysses. 16 June was the date of Joyce's first outing with his wife-to-be, Nora Barnacle.


LL said...

No wonder you were feeling blue...

So what you're saying is that you wish he would try to rip your clothes off in public next time?

Wow. I never would have guessed you for that sort of thing... :ewink:

Senorita said...

I think you could do so much better than this douche.

If he's good looking and does all the right moves in the sack, go ahead and sleep with him. I understand that as a single woman there is a shortage of men that are good lovers.

But please, don't actually try to make this meaningful with him. That would be the real disappointmet there.

Good luck to you.

Captain Dumbass said...

No kiss at the end of the date? Freak.

I started reading Ulysses about 20 years ago. Still haven't finished it.

Mrs. K said...

Well Im' not one for PDA's and most guys I know who are in their 40s are no longer willing, ready and able to dry hump anything that walks in the open air...

after dating my husband for a bit (who by the way didn't kiss me until after our 4th date and I was used to getting mauled often) I kinda asked him what the fuck took him so long...he said I was someone he could see himself with long term so he wanted to show me respect. Gah.

ON the other hand, California boys sound a lot like Florida boys during my suck ass dating days.

Don said...

No kiss goodbye? Weird. Some guys do have trouble holding hands in public; don't know why. Now trying to liberate you from your clothes; at least I understand that! But all you seem to do is fight this guy off. I'd think he'd get the hint. Are you giving him mixed signals?

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Charmaine said...

OMG - Where in the HELL did that "date your cougar" thing come from. Ahhhhh

LL said...

Ummm... Sorry about that. :P

Briana said...

The guys who didn't kiss me goodnight were the ones that were gay; however, the ripping clothes thing screws that theory up. I don't know. I made out with my husband (under the influence, of course,) the night we met. But that's it. I adhered to the 2 month rule and he still stuck around. 20 years later - 3 sons - WTF!

High Desert Diva said...

I'm dizzy.

Hedgie said...

"date your cougar"

So, you've joined -- or been drafted into -- the ranks of the big, hairy, predatory cats, have you? Does this mean you're now in search of the meat equivalent of the Vegetable King, someone like the Pasha of Pork or the Count of Cutlets?

PaulsHealthBlog.com said...

I got a new cell phone today. My wife made me get it, since my old one was scratched, old and falling apart. I even have the ability to 'text' on it.

The thing is, I don't know how to text.

What does this have to do with your post?

Heck if I know.


Eat Well. Live Well.

Charmaine said...


I'll teach you how to text. It's easy, just a total waste of time when you can actually talk.

Let the 12 year olds text. It doesn't eat up their parents minutes. Me? I can't even see the characters (letters) anymore without my glasses.

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