Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Hand

I went from having too much thyme on my hands to:

Too many bandages on my hand to:
How do I get this off my hand?

I went crazy. I ripped the bandages off my hand because the tape became filthy. (Rumaging in a vegetable garden does not help.) You need to wrap "the hand" in a plastic bag when you shower. (As if you can keep water, or anything, from sticky tape.) You can't. Life is dirty.
I felt compelled to hide "the hand" behind my back in embarassment. When I visited the grocery store it appeared I was concealing a weapon:
Clerk: "Just take the groceries. Don't shoot."
Charmaine: " Okay. See ya' tomorrow."
I professionally (Uh...) re-wrapped "The Hand".
I heard another "crack". Words ricocheted like screaming bullets down the dimly lit street where I live:
"Ahhhh! God Damn Mother Fucker!!" (sound of doors slamming and windows closing)


Michele said...

Good Grief Girl! Keep that thing wrapped up. You can't afford to break any more of those bones.

LL said...

Mad moves my dear... mad moves. Lookin' good even without the alleged junk in the trunk. :rolleyes:

And unfortunately... bad moves too... that doesn't sound too good. My advice? Erm... I... erm... heal quickly?

SSP said...

you broke your own fucking hand bones? how strong are you and what kind of tape are you using???? well, stop that!!

JIMSIGHT said...

You need a nurse sweetheart.. sheesh.. what a mess, very sorry you gotta go thru this, you sure you didn't punch somebody cause I had a very similar looking albiet much more professional looking wrap when some guy hit my hand with his face really hard once..ouch that smarts.. I should have sued him..

17 year old tape and it still sticks.. oh I am calling the manufacturer and doing a commercial if I am you..

look out shes packing.. lol..

Michelle said...

Charmaine do I need to come there to help you out?

Cause I will if you need me!!

Mrs. K said...

are you effing kidding me?

f1trey said...

hehehe you might consider turning this into "the wounded sparrow "male attractor...hehehehe

Joanie M said...

ouch! ouch! ouch!!! You broke something else?