Sunday, November 29, 2009

The last day of feeling sorry for myself.

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly you dissapear.

You're all over me when I'm witty, kicking some man ass or punching some guy in the gut...

What are you so afraid of?  My sadness?

Don't be scared.

Hello? Are you there?

Bachelor number two (2) is already in the wings.  I won't be deliriously happy...but I'll be safe. Safer.

He's not as dashing as our friend, The King. He is, however, more sincere.  The right guy is always the one you least suspect, don't notice at first...but he stays...there is not a thing you can do to dissuade him.

He's a brilliant artist, kind and compassionate and...slightly crazy. I understand crazy. I understand HIM.  Weird. He's all fire and passion.  Yet, there are moments when is kinder to me then anyone I've ever known.

Train wreck alert.

I need a break from heartache.  It's depleting.  It made me say something I have not uttered in years...I said, "Dad, help me". 

He didn't respond.  Dead people are like that.

They never speak up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIEryklWT6M

17 comments:

Ian said...

sorry - been out of town with limited email access...and you don't have to be witty or trashing some man's ass for me to enjoy reading you :-) i relish the sadness myself, not that i want YOU to be sad, but when I am sad, I am glad I can at least FEEL something.....

and safe is fine.....there is no shame in safe.....

SSP said...

holy crap, someone else was logged into my gmail account charmaine - that last post was from ME, not IAN...can you please delete it! I meant to say:

sorry - been out of town with limited email access...and you don't have to be witty or trashing some man's ass for me to enjoy reading you :-) i relish the sadness myself, not that i want YOU to be sad, but when I am sad, I am glad I can at least FEEL something.....

and safe is fine.....there is no shame in safe.....

Charmaine said...

What the hell? You mean...you're not Ian?

I've never deleted a comment before. Tell me how...and it's done.

Not before I hunt him down and give him a piece of my mind.

Ian schmean...look out.

I'll let you know what happens.

Briana said...

I will always stand by you. Watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

Charmaine said...

Okay.Nothing happened. Apparently he doesn't have a blog.

What a coward.

Charmaine said...

Hey, did you notice my little sisters comment? Isn't she terrific?

I love that kid.

She's smarter then us...she just doesn't know it yet.

LL said...

You've been feeling sorry for yourself? Huh... in which of the past posts? ;)

Char said...

Charmaign, you are confusing the hell outta me. I am totally lost as to when 'The King' exited (thank god) and 'someone you love' entered here. I always check for your blolg updates, so WTF? AND 'he' just showed up here outta the clear blue, and you love him AND he has said goodbye to you? Please, straighten me out!
Thank you,
xoxo

Briana said...

Dead people suck!

SweetPeaSurry said...

Well hell's bells darlin, I hate to see you sad and out of sorts. I think we should book a cruise ... a nice long singles cruise. We just better be careful not to kick anyone's arse overboard. I hear that can happen, they found a 60 year old man floating in the ocean after his arse was tossed overboard.

I'm guessing it's because he was spending too much time in the casino and was neglecting his wife. We won't have that problem though, because like I said ... SINGLES CRUISE!!!

I'll come pick you up ... pack your bags lovey!!!

Blessings!

Jan Keira said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jan Keira said...

First time reader here. Hmmm Welcome to my world. I've been through a lot of what you've been through and I've been writing about it, too but not on my blog (my blog is about music)... "sometimes you get to be the windshield, sometimes you get to be the bug." Good luck girlfriend.

webberpa said...

OMG! I am not webberpa, I am someone else, please delete me too. I am really the king in disguise...or the shah, the Dr., or the long-haired hippie lving down the street. Or maybe I am your neighbor whom you terrorized with that large dirt moving machine. HEHE

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I've come to the realization this weekend that I am just going to give up on men. There were two that I was excited about that had possibilities but I hadn't heard from either of them this weekend. I'm back to square one and I'm just going to give up. I'm tired.

Tom Bailey said...

Opinion and not truth:

Maybe you could spend more time working on yourself before dating? If you do not have emotional stability you might be attracting men that will not work for you because you can not even work well for yourself. If you are feeling sorry for yourself that is going to come across to others and the only others that will be attracted to you will be types that will not work for you long term.

Best regards,
Tom Bailey

Charmaine said...

Char - Sorry to confuse you. I'm not in love with anyone.

The man I referred to is just a man I've known forever. He's an artist and rather interesting.

He's being nice to me right now which is what I need to get over The King.

He's the kind of guy that will tell me to go fuck myself the minute I'm not nice.

I love men. I really do, despite evidence to the contrary.

Char said...

Thanks for the update, I'll try to keep myself straight from here on.

Take another day of mourning (take it with LOTS of your fave wine).

THEN take yourself out to party. Try your damnedess NOT to fall in love this week.

xoxo