Thursday, September 10, 2009

I Stood up a Hit Man

Does this mean I'm going to have my legs broken, when I least suspect it?
He's not a mobster folks.  He just plays one on TV.  He's an actor.  I'm only saying this because some folks actually thought I was going to date a hit man.
Don't you know me by now?
Guido and I joked about who was more dangerous. His "familia" or my IRA connections.  We decided to call it a draw, out of mutual respect. I stood him up and he took it like a classic gentleman. Funny and easy breezy, the door left slightly ajar.
I can't date more then one man at a time.
But I know men can and do.  Especially wild cards you meet on the internet.
Remember Evil Surfer Dude?  His self-confidence soared after hanging out with me for a few months.  I liked the fact that he was a scientist because I love talking about Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Physiological Psychology. After a few months it became clear I knew more about these topics then he.  A red flag went up.  I did not ignore it. 
I found he was chasing another woman on the internet. I also found his resume.  She and I busted him in what can only be called the "Sting of the Century".  He lost the girl and his confidence. 
The poor bastard still appears on my doorstep begging for a second chance.
I have both eyes wide open.  So stop worrying about me, Michael.  I'm not as dumb as I look.
My playboy alert light is on.  My problem is this face.  All I want to do is kiss it.  Right now I am getting what I want.  The feeling of being awestruck by a man's masculinity.  
Given the right circumstances, I'm not opposed to punching it right in the kisser.  So STOP WORRYING about me!!!!



SSP said...

oh kiss him for me, Charmaine. My man, the one you helped me fish out of the pond, dumped me last night...he just wants to be FRIENDS......

*Juliette* said...

I hope you don't mind if I put you on my blogroll. I think what you write is hilarious and touching at the same time. I am also ending my "lurker" status.

Char said...

No, I think the first time they just do something like drive spike nails underneath your fingernails.
Carry on...

Senorita said...

How did you stand him up ? Will you guys be going out again soon ?

Guys who act like dogs usually come back asking for another chance, even though their behavior was awful. I don't understand it, but it's like clockwork. Do something disrespectful, disappear for a little while and come back a week or two later and act like nothing happened and everything's okay.

Charmaine said...

SSP- That man was a fool.

Juliette - Welcome little chickie. I hope I don't inadvertantly cause you to become jaded. I'm not jaded. My dating life is fun. I have no complaints. When you called me hilraious and touching...I knew that I was telling my story correctly.

Char - Yep. You've got that right.

Senorita - We both know know crazy men can be and we don't give the normal fools the time of day. We just don't so...we're not affected.

Michelle said...

Hello? Your funny!

Michelle said...

I emailed you on water tubing. I mean you tubing. I mean embedding. I mean stuff!!!

Sharon said...

You are so gorgeous and he is so beneath you. Punch him in the face. He looks smug and puffy. To bad you love him. That's a shame.