Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Cure for Pneumonia


Not these guys (The Cure).  The cure for Pneumonia, silly.
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I'm like Madam Curie.  But I cured Pneumonia!

Curie was the first woman to receive a Nobel Prize. Then she was the only person in history to receive two Nobel Prizes in two sciences (Physics and Chemistry)?  She discovered radiation and two elements (Polonian and Radium).  She named the first element, Polonian, after her birthplace, Poland.  And folks call people from Poland stupid?

I'm the only person I know with a t-shirt emblazoned with the Periodic Table.  (I love that shirt.)
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Enough suspence, I announce to you, the people of America and a couple of kooks in London, the CURE for Pneumonia:

Read with the voice-of-God-amplification:   HUNGARIAN BEEF SOUP.
I don't know if it's the soup or the way it sends comforting aromas whispering throughout the house.  But I feel better. 

When I cook soup I see my grandmother in the kitchen.  Her hair is done and she is wearing a broach with a strand of pearls. (I'm lucky if my wife beater has less then 3 stains on it.)

I have NO idea what was in her soup.  I try endlessly to re-create it.

It probably had some weird immigrant ingredient, like Pig lips.

I was 16 before my mother confessed her Irish Steak and Mushroom pie did not actually contain mushrooms.  The weird looking things were kidneys. Yes, I felt betrayed. I worked it out later ...with dolls.

You're a mushroom you bastard, "says Barbie, "No I'm NOT." replies the kidney". "Yes you are, I'm gonna beat you until you're dead,"I say.  "I'm already dead you dumbass, I'm a kidney".  "I don't care, I'm gonna beat you until you become a mushroom,"  I say.

"Good luck with that," the kidney responds. 

 I hate kidneys. They're so arrogant.

12 comments:

*Juliette* said...

Are you going to share the recipe, or is it patented? I want to know what kind of meat is in it (besides pig lips).

Senorita said...

Im not much of a soup or stew person, but I would eat this.

Char said...

cheeze...I didn't know pigs had lips! Hope you are feeling better.

ps- I have always been a believer in chicken soup. I always made it for my daughter, and now she hates it. She says it always makes her feel like she is sick! Go figure.

SSP said...

is there a meatless version cuz lord knows we can use more cures in the world if all the hype about h1n1 pans out...and I for one would not mind more of THE Cure...what an awesome band....Robert Smithe rulz

Sharon said...

I might need some of your magic soup.

kelly said...

Are you always going to plaigirize stories from your sisters? you have no talent and misrepresent your academic achievements here. The truth is you are a college drop out and a jealous person. Because you never accomplished anything of merit you steal from your family members to try and make yourself look like something. When will you be honest?

Michelle said...

Hope your feeling better!!!

SweetPeaSurry said...

Oh my ... pigs lips soup ... I grew UP on that stuff!!! It's sooo YUMMY!!!

I'll share the recipe for my beef soup, maybe it's close?

Blessings love, be well!!!

webberpa said...

I am all about soup to cure anything and everything, including a broken heart...that picture of those dudes is pretty scary, too. If the soup doesnt work, try nasty, sweaty sex it always works for me....hehehehe

webberpa said...

Is Kelly your sister, btw? Wicked woman.

Briana said...

The last time I believed our mom about anything food-related was when she said one dinner was beef and then I learned that it was actually rabbit. I was horrified that I just ate Thumper!

Briana said...

Speaking of mushrooms, I have to admit that I am guilty of being an accomplice in one of mom's culinary fraud.

Dan HATES mushrooms. I can't just take them out. He won't eat food that mushrooms have touched.

When I was at my sister Erin's house in CA for her wedding(hmm, I wonder what just made me think about Erin), my mother decided to make her famed Beef Wellington, which as any chef knows, is filet wrapped in pastry, with a layer of duxelle in between.

That's all Dan needed to know. He loved it.

What he did NOT know then, and does not know now, was that duxelle is mostly mushrooms.

I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Crap!