Sunday, May 24, 2009

Two and a Half Men

Let's take another look at the artist, shall we?

I've cancelled three (3) dates. I'm waiting for my mother to leave to re-schedule. I can't risk another "sales pitch" during which she details why a man should marry me, now.

My favorite part of my mom's "sales pitch" is; "Did you know Charmaine was a Ballerina? She was in the Nutcracker."

She fails to mention I single-handedly ruined an otherwise flawless production of The Nutcracker produced by the Charleston Ballet Company. At the end of a piece all the dancers leaped off stage to stage left. I went to stage right. There was a discernible "gasp" from the audience.

I'm attending a dinner party on Monday. I hope "The Gardener" will be there. Did I mention "The Gardener" is handsome, prosperous and humble? When he asked about my availability I retorted I had been layed off and was "on vacation". He replied he has been on vacation since 2005. "What are you, independently wealthy" I joked. "Na" he said. "I just got lucky".

You should have seen how cute he was peering up my steps, looking through the railings one by one... trying to find me. I was a sweaty mess in grey sweat pants that were too short and hanging down at the butt.

My mother. See why I can't introduce her until AFTER the wedding?


LL said...

Hmmmmm... an artist or a gardener... I'm already betting on who you're going to choose...

But now for the real question... did your sweats show of a plumber's crack? And if it did and the gardener stayed anyway... hmmmmmmmmm... ;)

Char said...

I must have missed when the gardner came into play. You are very hard to keep up with, hon.

Char said... bad. I just backtracked and found his intro. :)

JIMSIGHT said...

I say you go out with both of them at the same time.. and you canceled on him 3 times and he still wants to take you out.. smells of desperation toots..

The Peach Tart said...

your Mom is adorable in those sunglasses but well...but Mom's somewhat eccentric as well.

Michelle said...

I just love your mother!!! said...

Your mother has style!


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