The FINAL end to Surfer Dude.

Listen to your "gut". That's what your mama told you. I'm not your mama, but listen up.

In retrospect, it's easy to see the warning signs. I had played by my younger gal rules, waiting at least 2 months before, ya know. That was supposed to shake out the "players". I thought this made me smart. I was wrong. Older players can wait longer.

I spent the night last Friday. I was at his house last Saturday where he professed his love, demanded that we make our relationship "exclusive" and asked again if I wanted to move in. But something was different. He kept looking at his watch. We started having one of our playful arguments where he tells me how great he is and how attractive. I would say, you're not as attractive as me. Etc. But seriously, the man is not attractive so his enormous pride is kinda funny. (And no I don't think I'm that attractive). At one point he mentioned that he could attract extremely beautiful women. I said, "no you can't".

He commented, "Oh yea? I have a very beautiful woman chasing me right now. (We've both stayed on Plentyoffish.com with the understanding that we are basically just flirting. I do it so I did not begrudge him this).

In an act of massive hubris, he went to the computer and showed me her picture. I see that she is indeed gorgeous and that they have exchanged several emails. But there's something I didn't tell you. I memorized her user name.

He said she was chasing him. My mind was in a whirl. How could this be? If so, I should be greatful to have this guy at all.

When I got home from his house, I saw that he went right back on line the minute I left.

I found her, then I e-mailed her. I did. Oh yes I did. I DID. (Afterwards, I felt silly. What if she really was chasing him, I would look like a silly jealous fool.) I told her that I was in his living room 10 minutes before he emailed her on Saturday. I left my cell phone number if she wanted any further details.

She called me. This is her. She's 51, can you believe it? I sence some plastic surgery.

Surfer Dude was pursuing her for weeks. She said "no" to him several times but, as with me, he was SO persistant she agreed to meet with him. They had a date set for Tuesday.


She told me that at 3:30 PM ( 30 minutes after I left on Saturday), he called her and apologized for not responding sooner to her email sooner because he had been in Mexico surfing that afternoon.

That means his living room is Mexico and hanging out with me is called, "surfing".

Don't get me wrong. None of this would have particularly bothered me if he hadn't insisted we be inclusive and advised me that if I ever dated another man, we were through.

After speaking to me she decided to stand him up. She told me some of the other things he had said to her. He was also lying about working, telling her the details of working at the lab (just like he did with me). He's currently unemployed. She thanked me for warning her. She thought that it might be fun for us both to meet him on the date. I thought...wow that would be fun. But decided he wasn't worth the effort.


He keeps calling me. He doesn't know I know. He was stood up last night. He just left a message saying that he feels sick to his stomach.

I had planned to meet with him one last time and casually ask, "So how was your trip to Mexico last Saturday?"

But I'm just gonna leave it alone.

Date tonight with that cute blond REAL surfer from Laguna tonight.

Woops. There goes my phone again. It's surfer dude. I'm gonna send him an email and say that I've moved on.