Monday, August 18, 2008

Surf Pup...seriously, I have a problem.


It's ridiculous...(referring the surfer phenomenon). Apparently, it's all I date.

But I mean.... what am I supposed to do?

Generally speaking, men who post pics of themselves shirtless lose my respect. Especially the enormous pot bellied look at me without my shirt in front of my RV picture. I've decided to suspend judgement. I simply must learn to be less judgemental. Maybe I'll even start going to church?

Let's pray, shall we? Dear God, please let me touch this mans chest. I just want to touch it. God, remember I how I was a nun for the past 7 years? Did I win any points? I know I screwed up with Evil Surfer Dude, but he's the devil. The devil is smart. I'm truly sorry for that. I mean, I'm REALLY sorry. Do you have an exchange policy?

This Surf Pup has tried for 2 months to reach me. He called this weekend and I missed the call AGAIN. (I was at evil Surfer Dude's house). Bad BAD Charmaine.

He sounds FUNNY, witty clever and intelligent. (This frankly scares me.) He accused me of being a "plant" on the dating website. "The kind of woman who is beautiful and funny, could not possibly be real", he said.


But gorgeous men never like me. I turn into a zombie. Maybe he'll bave bad teeth...that will keep my mind off...the chest.

Ever since my date with the OTHER cute blond surfer I've been wondering if I've lost my appeal. He was the one that said at the end of our date; "Wanna make history together?"... then denied it". Update: I emailed him just to verify the entire conversation. His response was, "I didn't know you smoked pot?" (His way of saying that I was "high") Ladies and Gentleman...I don't do drugs.

I'm more comfortable with average to below average looking men. They would never accuse me of being "high".

But I owe to my readers to return Surf Pup's call. I must meet this chest, I mean surfer, in person.

QUESTION FOR THE MARATHON RUNNERS: That Romanian woman who won? What was she smelling during her run? Smelling salts?

5 comments:

Flatman said...

She was smelling her toe jam... ;)

Good luck with the Pup!

P.O.M. said...

Hmmm - I feel like I've seen him around.

See ya tonight. Martini-time. Hells yeah.

Spicy Latina said...

You really do have issues!

Maybe we can find someone for you tonight. Wear one of your famous cleavage blouses!

Michelle J said...

Why is it people love to point out others issues? Is this a new trend?

Charmaine, WTF?? Why are you with evil surfer dude when this heavenly man is phoning you?? The chest pretty much says it all! Go for it PLEASE!!!

M

Stephanie said...

I have to agree with Michelle. Times 5.

Lose the loser, take up Surf Pup's offers....omg. I had to stare at the lower left picture for a few (okay several) minutes before I could read the rest of the post.