Sunday, January 31, 2010

Change of pace from dating.

I entered a writing competion.  I placed in the top 40.  Not great.

The great part is that writers made comments.  Just on a blog...no biggee. My point?  My point is when you tell the truth, your story will be legitimately heard and understood.  Here, we make fun of men and laugh. But in real life, I write about tragic things.  Below are some comments.  They're not funny...you will likely run for the hills.  I would if I were you.

I'm flanked by two strange bedfellows. Humor on my right and sadness to my left.

Lena said...
This piece is full of emotions. I can practically feel the pain. Really good work. Liked it.
Preeti said...
It is sad to dream about the death of someone you love. Maybe it is the manifestation of a deep-rooted feeling you are never going to belong to each other.
Hmmnn... poignant and melancholic.
Very well written.
Ayodele Morocco-Clarke said...  (Read one of her horrific published short stories at the link below.) http://storytime-ayodele-morocco-clarke.blogspot.com/
You have in tight constraint effectively conveyed the ache of immense loss. Fab!

Bernita said...
Bleak.
JaneyV said...
The frustration of loss that need not have been. Well told.
Aimee Laine said...
Such sadness! That was a great read!
Aniket said...
To not be able to be there for the final goodbye to the person you love...unimaginable pain. The heart needs closure.
Very well told.
Craig said...
I think this one is about the loss of possiblities.
Sarah Laurenson said...
Loss and heartache. Achingly rendered.
Charmaine said...
Preeti,
You're right. Dreaming of death is not literal. Our subconcious speaks to us in metaphores.
pjd said...
For some reason when I got to the end, I was unsure about "could have saved you." After overthinking it for a bit, I figured the narrator had dropped out of molecular biology to become a priest, and that was the salvation he (she?) could have offered. I think that was not was you were writing, though.
Scribblers Inc said...
It's the gaping void of "could be's " and "could have's "...
moving indeed...
Kartik said...
The sadness!
laughingwolf said...
somber...
Laurel said...
So sad. Big loss, no closure. .
Tara said...
Very emotional piece. So sad
Four Dinners said...
Emotionally bleak and actually left me feeling genuinely sad.
Beautifully written.
Deb Smythe said...
I'm feeling the heartache and regret. Well done.
Betty Gordon said...
Sad but moving.
james r. tomlinson said...
With MLK Day right around the corner, I couldn't help but notice your opening line and chuckle. You've managed to tell a believable tale, yet I was begging for more: What type of disease did this person have? In what way could the narrator have helped?
Chris Eldin said...
I, too, am left with many questions. A tragic tale of loss, nicely woven.
Katherine Tomlinson said...
Filled with authentic emotion, emotionally told.
catvibe said...
Echoing the others here. Very emotional and sad.

I'm glad they said that. But anger underfoot. I keep trying to stomp thngs out, like an insect beneath my boot.  Smash..smash.  But like weird bugs and their crazy exoskeletans...my anger springs back to life.

9 comments:

Irish Gumbo said...

But if its the truth, then that's what matters...good, bad, happy, sad.

If sadness was a truth of the story, then mission accomplished.

♥ Braja said...

It's always changing; there's always strange bedfellows in writing.

Hey come over, i wanna show ya somethin'..... ;))

LL said...

Wha? We don't get a chance to read the story? *sigh* :ewink:

So I guess I can comment on the comments...

So tragic it makes me want to drink, or maybe that's just the whiskey talkin'. ;P

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Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

How can WE read the story?

Shampoo said...

I would like to read your story.

Ayodele Morocco-Clarke said...

Dunno why I posted my comment under an old post. Must have been the lack of sleep catching up with me. Anyhow, here it is reproduced below -

Hi Charmaine,

Thanks for your comments on my story (The Nestbury Tree). Just saw it a few moments ago. As you will well know, writing can be a bleak experience, thus words of encouragement are tremendously appreciated by me. Thanks also for the publicity on your blog. :)

Ayodele

Charmaine said...

Ayodele,

You don't need publicity from me. You are a moving story teller of the hightest order.

I've never witnessed anyone with the courage to go the places you do in order to reveal the horrific truth of many things.

It takes courage and a sence of duty and obligation to be as candid. Especially when some are circling about you...holding rocks.

People, seek out this young writer. Ayodele Morroco-Clark.

She has things to say, especially about being a woman in this world.

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