Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Lyin' King

Re-run week. 12/4/08

In preparation for date number two (2) The Lyin' King and I emailed furiously.
It was fun, fast and flirtatious. At one point I "sensed" he was looking for something else.

Like a job.

Why would I think this you ask? Low self esteem? I don't think I'm attractive enough to sustain a man's attention?

He sent me his resume.

I'm and Event Planner. He's an attorney.

In order to steer the conversation away from employment I said things like, "You know most of the men in my industry are gay".

He responded smarmily, " I enjoy the touch and feeeel of a woman wayyyyy too much to ever go THERE". (Why do men talk like that?)

I quickly retorted, "Well, if you would please consider BECOMING gay, it would demonstrate that you are highly motivated".

That worked. Unfortunately, there was still the problem of his resume on my desk.

The first line began, "I recently lost my job due to layoffs...".

I send it to my sister (an attorney) and here is what she said:

"Charmaine, people rushed into my office to see what was the matter because I was laughing so hard". I was reading his resume. "I began to chuckle at the first line and by the time I got to third page where he states, "I was was quasi legal councel for... " I was on the floor.

She contacted the California Bar Association to find he had been suspended for stealing a clients money to pay office expenses. He was no longer allowed to practise law.

Restaurant Review

Old Vine Cafe - Drinks -*** (3 stars)
This little place is located in Costa Mesa in a strip mall called The Camp. I met him there. The President and Vice President of my company were with me. (They wanted to get a look at him.) We were all having a glass of wine when he arrived. It was awkward, he was uncomfortable and would not join us so we departed.

Mesa - Dinner -**** (4 stars)
The place is hip and FILLED with beautiful young people who appeared to be from L.A. Amber candles glowed hither and thither. The President of my comany showed up with her gorgeous, much younger boyfriend. Again...awkward.

I had a delicious concoction of lobster and shrimp in a foamy butter broth. It arrived in a bowl covered in foam with a red lobster shell head poking out of it as if to suggest it was having a nice bath. I dove into that bathtub head first to find succulent pieces of lobster and shrimp.

Who cares for men when there is such food to be had?


BP said...

hee, hee!

JIMSIGHT said...

Great Martini's and a pretty decent cheese plate...but as for beautiful people, was the roof open and everyone smoking? Maybe the smoke got in your eyes. I have been there a bunch of times, I must always go on the beautiful peoples days off.

Charmaine said...

Yes. You are correct. People were smoking. It was weird. I forgot about that.

Michelle J said...

Give me FOOD!!

With a side of sex!!! But FOOD first!!

Always food FIRST!!!

JIMSIGHT said...

Sometimes the food afterwards is the next best meal ever had.

Simplicity said...

It's incredible how some people can get away with schmoozing their way into a job!!!

Woman, you are a rock!!

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