Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Men, Sex, Food, Football

 I didn't say "sex" did I?

I had a man over for dinner on Sunday. I made beef stew served with crusty french bread because it was chilly.  (In Southern California "chilly" means 75 degrees.)

Why is Charmaine cooking for a MAN?  Because he fixes things.
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If you've been single for life AND you're the type of woman who doesn't know where her vacuum cleaner is, things tend to fall into disrepair.

 "You're improving the property value for my landlord" I objected.  "This medicine cabinet is disgusting. I'm replacing it," he replied.

Sigh.  (Batting eyelashes)

I'm a recovering Feminist.  A year ago, if you'd tried to give me anything I'd have thrown it back in your face.

Because he'd been helpful, I allowed him to watch a football game.

"You probably don't watch football," he commented. 

"Yes I do,"  I lied.

To demonstrate my enthusiasm, after watching the Giant's player fail to complete a pass out of bounds and then foolishly repeat the misstep, I screamed at the TV, "What in the hell is WRONG with you?  Are you going to do the same thing over and over you moron?"

"Charmaine, that was an instant replay" he said.

18 comments:

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

LMAO!! Just bat your eyelashes!

Mike Steelman said...

Loved the post! One question though: Was it the Monday night game or was this written yesterday?

Senorita said...

I hate sports on TV so much that when a man watches it, I don't even pretend to like it. I can't fake that sort of enthusiasm.

I can, however, pretend to be enthusiastic about cooking.

Joanie M said...

Oh too funny!!! Yup, keeping those eyes.

Mike said...

ROFLMAO that was priceless.

That One Mom said...

I am a HUGE fan of gender roles. *GASP* you say? The way I figure it, that's just less I have to do. It's a win-win situation in my eyes!!!

P.S. Football is a gift from God!

tattytiara said...

I'm a dedicated feminist, and as such secure enough in my femininity to allow anybody - male or female - to save me from potential self mutilation and home annihilation from DIMyselfing. That's not why I'm dating a mechanic with a background in carpentry, but I'm sure it does give me a deeper appreciation for his talents.

SSP said...

hey, i got a new battery installed and a free ride to auto zone and back and it didn't even cost me dinner....some self respect perhaps. and an unexpected mid-week change of sheets, but a small price to pay to have some "help."

Oh My Goddess said...

Guys like that in a girl.

Touchdown!

Irish Gumbo said...

What, you said sex?

I was here for the football...but only because I thought it might be the real football, a.k.a. 'soccer' to us American types.

sigh.

There's always sex....

Char said...

lol, very funny!

secret agent woman said...

This is why I don't even pretend I like sports.

LL said...

Good to see you're coming around... ;)

Rikkij said...

Rachel Ray never has to have instant replays-are men slow?~rick

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

OMG, this is so funny and I didn't see it coming!
Hey, us single women do what we need to do to get shit fixed...

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Hahaha! That was priceless.

Briana said...

I have given up. In a house of 4 males, I frequently wake up and walk in a daze to the kitchen to get a diet pepsi. I try to put on the Today Show, but then I hear, "Mom, wait it's the top 10 plays!"

I know Matt Lauer is cute, but my boys don't care - and there's 3 of them!

SweetPeaSurry said...

HAH! You watch football like I do!!! I love it!