If you adore Kobe Bryant...we're through!

My date stated his theory: “Within 72 hours you will cause a fight resulting in our break up.” He said, “It’s your pattern”. I told him he was out of his mind.

72 hours later, I did it.

It’s ironic. We have so much fun. I have never behaved this way; storming off in huffs, causing arguments and getting jealous.

Why do I do it? Something nags from an insidious corner of my mind, “You’re not in charge.” (Iwanna be the boss.) But he holds all the cards. How does a person relinquish control when it’s the only thing they ever had? Control has kept me safe. If you've never been in danger, you can't possibly understand.

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If you saw us dancing, kissing and walking in public, you would hurl.

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In this case, our argument was about Kobe Bryant. How many people break up over Kobe Bryant?

(Sound of crickets)

When I am an irrational bitch he says “Don’t ever change or I’ll break up with you.” It's fall down funny. He's funny and he's right...I can't go 72 hours. Give me some loser and I can keep THAT going for years.

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We have a good thing, I think, “I have the greatest guy on earth” then Bam... he says, “Kobe is great” and it's game on, or game over...depending on your perspective.
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I say, “He’s a rapist”. He says, “That woman wanted money”. I think to myself, “That’s the way a civil law suit works, dummy".

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In a criminal case, rape-shield laws would have prevented her sexual past from becoming admissable. (It’s open season in a civil lawsuit.) But she walked away from that protection. Why would she do that? Legally, it was wrong wrong wrong! She was 19 and getting death threats. (Some from Kobe) She ended up with nothing. Had she pursued the criminal aspect first... she would be a millionaire.

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She had terrific attorneys. She must have told them to go to hell like a teenager who thought she knew everything.

What I said out loud to my date was, “you’ll change your tune when he rapes your daughter”.

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I didn't tell him how the legal system works. I was simply outraged at his adoration for Kobe. (In terms of our argument, I was wrong.) He said the plaintiff received money... and she did.) It was, however, a pittance. She asked for 75K, she likely ended up with 25K.

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I remember an argument in fifth (5th) grade over the pronunciation of the word, Wrought Iron. I fought to express, to my 12 year old opponent, that the proper pronunciation was "Roth Iron". (It's pronounced Rot Iron.) I was prepared to fight to the death.

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See, my mother is Irish. Words with a "T" come out as "TH". I REALLY thought the term was Roth Iron. (Damn immigrants.) When I learned I was wrong I approached the girl and said, "My mom is prettier then yours".

Is Kobe Bryant a legitimate reason to break up?

Anyone care to comment?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR5xv3pt7KI

All I can say is I would have protected that little girl. I would have shot Kobe. Unlike most of us, no one had her back. She was alone. She caved. She was 19. Try to remember what 19 felt like.

I would have strolled in Kobe's direction, my dead father at my side, invisibly cocking his shot gun and together...we would have shot that loser.