One minute you have everything: A decent job, the ability to travel the world. Nothing elaborate. You feel like an imposter. At other times you can’t believe how hard it is to hold on to something so small.
The next minute, you have nothing.
It’s amazing really.
It doesn’t “happen” to you. You choose it.
Something cracks inside. You realize how angry you are at every mediocre person that tried to take advantage or stab you in the back. The number of hours I spent defending myself in my career was astounding. I fought endless guttersnipes and smiling Christians.
You revisit the past, all the way back to the cardiologist that killed your father and got away with it.
Then you’re sitting in your living room. You don’t know if you can pay the rent this month. You only know you can’t take another heartbreak.
You start drinking too much, acting like a fool.
But it’s the anger that surprises you. I didn’t know I was so angry.
Do you respect me less because I didn’t play the game to the end?
I want honor above success.
Then, just when you think you're at your wits end, you watch a video of Karl Rove rappin...and all is right with the world.