Sunday, August 2, 2009

How much truth is too much?

One minute you have everything: A decent job, the ability to travel the world. Nothing elaborate. You feel like an imposter. At other times you can’t believe how hard it is to hold on to something so small.

The next minute, you have nothing.

It’s amazing really.

It doesn’t “happen” to you. You choose it.

Something cracks inside. You realize how angry you are at every mediocre person that tried to take advantage or stab you in the back. The number of hours I spent defending myself in my career was astounding. I fought endless guttersnipes and smiling Christians.

You revisit the past, all the way back to the cardiologist that killed your father and got away with it.

Then you’re sitting in your living room. You don’t know if you can pay the rent this month. You only know you can’t take another heartbreak.

You start drinking too much, acting like a fool.

But it’s the anger that surprises you. I didn’t know I was so angry.

Do you respect me less because I didn’t play the game to the end?

I want honor above success.

Then, just when you think you're at your wits end, you watch a video of Karl Rove rappin...and all is right with the world.

(See below).


Comedy Goddess said...

One helluva (scary!!) video, which makes me say: anything is possible, which is why I think you'll find a way to take back your power. I have faith in you!

Souljah Boy said...

I'm planning on signing MC Rove to my record label.Do you want to invest?

f1trey said...

Charmaine....Roves rappin is good for the soul no doubt....Get up take care of you and let love walk in when its ready.....

Charmaine said...

Comedy Goddess - You know I love you.

Soulja Boy - You know I love you too.

f1tray - I don't think love walk in when you are a Ninja sista fighting it at every step. But you're right...I'm just gonna relax and not worry about it cuz, it's not helping. Love ya too old man. Okay (so you're not old.)

LL said...

Damn... everybody is giving you support...

Does this mean I have to berate you now? ;P

webberpa said...

Somebody outa pop a cap in that rappin fools THAT would make the world right again.

Lee Lik Yi said...

Hey, you don't know me. I just came across what you've written on "Phone", in the Oneminutewriter website.

"Hey it's dad. I'm not really dead."

I like this :) Very poignant.

Irish Gumbo said...

I second Comedy Goddess:indeed, anything is possible, as that video proves.

Anger, honesty, and grief, its all part of the package. I believe you are going to be alright. I know it isn't easy, but you are irish, right? (grin)

Jeanne said...

I remember being where you are now a few years back and thinking that if one more person tells me, "It's a process, not an event," I would have to kill them.

You'll get there! CG knows you better than I do, and if she believes in you, I know it's true.

MindMatters said...

Seems like an oxymoron to have a Rove video in a blog about truth...I'm just sayin said...

See? Karl Rove is proof that white boys can dance.


Eat Well. Live Well.

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