Monday, August 10, 2009

If you adore Kobe Bryant...we're through!

My date stated his theory: “Within 72 hours you will cause a fight resulting in our break up.” He said, “It’s your pattern”. I told him he was out of his mind.

72 hours later, I did it.

It’s ironic. We have so much fun. I have never behaved this way; storming off in huffs, causing arguments and getting jealous.

Why do I do it? Something nags from an insidious corner of my mind, “You’re not in charge.” (Iwanna be the boss.) But he holds all the cards. How does a person relinquish control when it’s the only thing they ever had? Control has kept me safe. If you've never been in danger, you can't possibly understand.
If you saw us dancing, kissing and walking in public, you would hurl.
In this case, our argument was about Kobe Bryant. How many people break up over Kobe Bryant?

(Sound of crickets)

When I am an irrational bitch he says “Don’t ever change or I’ll break up with you.” It's fall down funny. He's funny and he's right...I can't go 72 hours. Give me some loser and I can keep THAT going for years.
We have a good thing, I think, “I have the greatest guy on earth” then Bam... he says, “Kobe is great” and it's game on, or game over...depending on your perspective.
I say, “He’s a rapist”. He says, “That woman wanted money”. I think to myself, “That’s the way a civil law suit works, dummy".
In a criminal case, rape-shield laws would have prevented her sexual past from becoming admissable. (It’s open season in a civil lawsuit.) But she walked away from that protection. Why would she do that? Legally, it was wrong wrong wrong! She was 19 and getting death threats. (Some from Kobe) She ended up with nothing. Had she pursued the criminal aspect first... she would be a millionaire.
She had terrific attorneys. She must have told them to go to hell like a teenager who thought she knew everything.

What I said out loud to my date was, “you’ll change your tune when he rapes your daughter”.
I didn't tell him how the legal system works. I was simply outraged at his adoration for Kobe. (In terms of our argument, I was wrong.) He said the plaintiff received money... and she did.) It was, however, a pittance. She asked for 75K, she likely ended up with 25K.
I remember an argument in fifth (5th) grade over the pronunciation of the word, Wrought Iron. I fought to express, to my 12 year old opponent, that the proper pronunciation was "Roth Iron". (It's pronounced Rot Iron.) I was prepared to fight to the death.
See, my mother is Irish. Words with a "T" come out as "TH". I REALLY thought the term was Roth Iron. (Damn immigrants.) When I learned I was wrong I approached the girl and said, "My mom is prettier then yours".

Is Kobe Bryant a legitimate reason to break up?

Anyone care to comment?
All I can say is I would have protected that little girl. I would have shot Kobe. Unlike most of us, no one had her back. She was alone. She caved. She was 19. Try to remember what 19 felt like.
I would have strolled in Kobe's direction, my dead father at my side, invisibly cocking his shot gun and together...we would have shot that loser.


LL said...

If you like anyone on the Lakers or the Lakers themselves... that's cause enough for a break up.

The Peach Tart said...

I think it's a small thing in the scheme of things. I would have to know his other behaviors toward women and his beliefs and ideals. If they are indicative of Kobe's appeal to him, them it could be cause for moving on.

Robert said...

Youre batshit crazy if you break up over some dumb conversation over a celebrity basketball player...

get over yourself if you still remember a dispute over how something is pronounced in the 5th grade you have problems.

Senorita said...

I remember when the Kobe Scandal broke out a few years ago. I simply stated I didn't like Kobe Bryant and my male classmates looked at me like I robbed their mothers.

I really don't know what happened as I really didn't read the whole case. But I do know that when a rich, good looking athelete is involved he can do no wrong because:

1.) All women want to have sex with an athelete, and therefore it isn't rape.

2.) Anytime a wealthy or famous person is prosecuted, it is always for the money.

Good riddance to that douche you broke it off with. Especially if he can't admit he was wrong, or tells white lies.

I don't expect all men to be on the side of the 19 year old, but I do expect a well thought out argument as to why he believes Kobe was innocent.

A lame statement "that woman just wanted money" is stupid, it shows that you can't have a logical conversation with this man.

Charmaine said...

Senorita. I love you so much. You are as as raw and honest as I was at your age.

You help me remember. I keep forgetting. Thank goodness, for you little lady.

LL- Dude, seriously.

Peach Tart - You ask a very good question.

Robert - Where in the HELL did YOU come from? Who are you? Of course, of COURSE you're right.

Robert said...

Charmaine - I am nobody, I am wrong. =D

SweetPeaSurry said...

Hmmm a bit of perspective ... Had this been my date, instead of arguing, I think I would have followed up with a question. "Do you really enjoy sports, to the point that only sports stations can be tuned in on your television or radio?"

If the answer was yes, I would have broken up with him, or negotiated Football Sunday and Monday Night Football with the availability of his credit card in my hawt little hands. Yup, I'm that shallow and I love it. I'm that uninspired by sports.


Or ... I would have just rolled my eyes and called him a chauvenistic moron.

blessings my dahlink!!!

Berj said...

You're a dumbshit whore who seriously needs to get a life. No man would touch you with their neighbor's dogs dick so you take our your daily frustrations on Kobe who in life has everything you will never or have had. Sucks to be you ugly.

Briana said...

Here in Colorado, this matter was talked about incessently on tv, living rooms, offices, bars, etc, month after month after month.

I tried MANY times to explain how the legal system works (or does not work) in a sexual assault case.

Everyone had an opinion. And no one listened to anything I said. Most surprising to me was the number of women, as well as, men, asserted that the woman must be lying.

They blamed the victim solely because she willingly entered the hotel room.

I just don't understand how even women can think that you lose your right to protect your body from harm just because of your location, the length of skirt,or having kissed.

Anyway, the gist of all this is that I have not heard a well-thought out argument as to why someone believes Kobe is innocent from anyone - male or female.

It's depressing!

But you definitely can't dump someone over it. You'd be surprised how many people out there feel exactly the same way about Kobe.

Robert said...

Ok ok im not here to bash you or anything, but gain some perspective on what you are arguing about. This isnt about a world changing political policy, not a matter of life and death, and certainly not a matter that is important enough to end a relationship. This is freaking sports and you feel the needs to over glorify it and give it importance it doesn't even have. Life is too short to waste arguing about such asinine things.

Crimes are committed every single day, many go unnoticed. 45,000 people die in Congo EVERY day due to the genocide that is going on over there. You should go do some research on the crimes that are being committed there. The real criminals arent the basketball players that had an encounters with a young ladies rather, the real criminals are over seas away from this American bubble and under the shades of our wonderfully controlled mainstream media.

Kelly said...

And this is why I'm a hockey fan. As for the Kobe thing, men just Don't. Get. It.

webberpa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
webberpa said...

But I dont agree with Berg, you are not that bad. You should bazooka that guys car. Get your mom to do it, if she hasnt already. :)

LL said...

45,000 every day? Wow... I had no idea. I guess that would mean that 16,425,000 people die every year in the Congo. We really ought to do something about that.

You know... come to think of it... that problem will probably resolve itself in a couple of years at that rate.

Nevermind... back to something more serious... like Kobe.

Charmaine said...

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! Now we have ourselves a party.

The angry males have arrived.

But I know something they don't.

See, men who insult women have never had any luck with women. Women summarily reject them for being ugly, moronic, ignoble or weak. It's been so since the beginning of time.

Now we all know where the weaklings are.

Let's visit their blogs, shall we?

Charmaine said...

Ah, sweet redemption.

Berj, the one that called me an "ugly dumshit" does not publically display his blog.

Come on Berj. Display your blog. Let's see what you've got! I won't insult you. I promise. I am always, ALWAYS nice to scared little boys.

Charmaine said...

Sone of a bitch...Robert does not display his blog either.

It's interesting. The vitriol comes from those that hide.

But you are correct. I AM batshit crazy. I like it that way.

Briana said...

Berj isn't even worth discussing because he is clearly psycho and has probably raped someone.

I'm having more trouble with Robert since you seem relatively sane.

I agree with you that the genocide occuring in Africa is horrific and needs to be stopped. But do you realize that a major element in the genocide is the systematic violent and repeated rape of the women and girls?

That is why I don't understand why you consider rape in the U.S. to be unimportant just because it's here.

Your description of the rape as "an encounter" shows me that you don't know any woman who has told you that she has been raped. I say "told you" because rape is hugely underreported (estimates are 9 out 10 are not reported).

Nor do you understand the dramatic life-changing impact rape has on victims.

I don't blame you for that. You're a man. You can't help it. But if you are going to make such dramatic, dismissive statements about such a vicious crime, I suggest that you do a little research first.

Robert said...

Actually one of my ex girlfriends has been raped, and she did report it to the police. She kept getting death threats from the person who did it and as far as I know she has night trauma when trying to sleep, but thats a different story.

I read the word for word transcript of the initial conversation kobe had with the police. Kobe Bryant is an intelligent person and knows the consequences of forcefully raping someone. This guy is a basketball nerd, he was rejected from his team mates because he preferred to stay home and study tape instead of party, he gets up at 6 am and works out 6 hours a day 6 days a week, all of this is routine for the man.

People have desires and I'm sure there are is an actor or two that you would quickly give the go ahead to if it came down to it. Yes not every female wants to instantly have sex with a rich athlete, but there are some that do, and one that is willing to spread her legs quickly just because this man plays basketball probably has a few screws loose in her head.

Also, I don't have a blog i didn't set it to 'private' it just automatically logged me in through GMail. I have nothing to hide.

And a correction to the 45,000 a day statement. It was meant to be 45,000 a month.

Annie said...

You know, reading the comments here is almost as good as reading the blog itself. ROFL!

Charmaine said...

Hey people. Check out the comment from my kid sister, Briana. She's an attorney. She's brilliant and doesn't take shit from morons like Berj or Robert.

These guys can be buried in a hearbeat.

God love the bastards. How did people get so dumb? I don't get it.

Charmaine said...

Oh Robert. You are SO wrong.

One would think. given your x-girlfriend who was raped, you would be more compassionate.

you actully believe that most woman are whores.

Please tell me, you're 19.

Robert said...

Funny how all you do is attack me instead of focusing on the argument. Your best argument is "you are SO wrong." You'll definitely win debates with that hard evidence.

Charmaine said...


I don't need to win the argument. You don't have the courage to publish a blog.

That means, I already won.

Talk to me when you have some courage. I think you might have're just not showing it...yet.

Robert said...

Ok, you don't have to respond and i'm not really interested in making a blog it has nothing to do with courage. What does making a blog have to do with courage? Either way i must apologize for the way i entered this conversation it was a knee jerk reaction

Charmaine said...


The difference is when you put yourself out there, you take the hits as they come.

When you don't, and merely comment on other peoples blogs without exposing yourself to similar merely look weak.

That's the difference. I'm not saying you're weak, you merely lack courage.

Start your blog already. I, for one, would be interested in what you have to say.

Senorita said...

OMG, I tell you when you speak negatively about Kobe the angry manimals come crawling out of the woodwork !

Good Lord ! And what does genocide have to do with Kobe ? Why can't we just write blogs about whatever we feel like ? Why do we always have to carry the burdens of other countries ?

For those of you that want to make us aware, write your own blogs about it and invite us to come read. But don't criticize someone for not talking about it. Oh wait, our darling Roberto obviouslt doesn't feel it's that important because he doesn't have a blog of his own to spread awareness. While we are talking about Bobby, I am interested in where he got his statistics from. How does he know that number is accurate ? Or does he just blindly believe everything he watches on TV.

As for the guys calling you a whore, or batshit crazy and even bringing a dog dick into the conversation ....... my old man said to think of them as the skidmarks in the toilet bowl of life. Sometimes no matter how much they shit on you and you flush it away, a little piece of them still remains.

Time for the Clorox !

Robert said...

I cant provide a link through my ipod but go to google type in 'death rate in congo' and the first thing that pops up is a ny times article, read it and no i avoid mainstream media.

Charmaine said...

Senorita - Don't worry about me. It's funny. I don't think anyone in the history of the world talked to me about a "dogs dick". huh? Wha? That dude sunk himself.

Where is he now? Hiding under the covers?

Regarding Roberto...the jury is still out. If the man listens to public radio...let's give the poor bastard a chance.

webberpa said...

You just like a fight, dont cha? Do you think Kobe's wife thinks he is a bad person? Or is she clouded by the fact that her meal ticket brings home millions and millions? Why talk about Kobe in the first place? I mean, its old news, why are you not out yelling at your senator or congressional representative about how Obama and the democrats are trying to destroy the world as we know it with this health care-nazi bill? Now THATS something to break up about...not some knuckle-draggin b-ball player from l.a.! You could get your face on t.v., how cool would that be? Hehehe

Charmaine said...

Webber - who cares what Kobe's wife thinks? Has anyone heard her articulate an actual sentence?

I guess that makes her marriage material.

Arnold - don't even get me started.

The state of CA is in such mayhem making it a much better reason to break with a Republican.

webberpa said...

My point is, maybe she knows him better than anybody out there and know whether or not he is a douchebag that would force himself upon a woman, or if he is just a normal douchebag grabbin a little strange on the side. There is a difference.

Briana said...

Webberpa, there is a HUGE difference between rape and having an affair. Why do you guys keep dismissing rape?

And people, this is not a blog about the problems in the U.S. and abroad. Did you read the title?

If that's what you're looking for, I'm sure you can find them with a quick google.

This post was about a funny argument that caused Charmaine to break up with this dude. Nothing more.

Get over yourselves!

webberpa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
webberpa said...

Hey, Brain-ia...or Briana, should I say...just because a girl cries "rape" doesnt make it so, 'specially when she has her hand out for monetary compensation. DUH... Now we have another gal claiming "rape" trying to get money from Rick Pitino, a coach making lots of money, go figure. Do these gals even know what rape is? Its not regret the next day that you drank too much, or that you thought it was a good idea at the time, but then changed your mind...that aint it! Period.

And yeah, I get the fact that the title of the post is about a "funny arguement", but who breaks up over Kobe Bryant? And why are we (guys) the ones making light of "rape"? Isnt she? I mean, if you bring something up, dont go gettin your panties all up in a bunch over a difference in opinion.

SSP said...

i am not so crazy as to step into this pit of cobras, but I do have a question - a girl here in NYC claims that a man was exposing himself to her on the train last night. as he was getting off, she snapped his photo with her phone and then went to the police, who told her it wasn't a NYPD matter, but a transit police matter....and this guys photo is plastered ALL over the media today...I mean, i have to think you are innocent until proven guilty, right? I amnot saying the girl made it up, but maybe he was just scratching at his crabs, and it wasn't intended towards her at she snaps his photo and now everyone in the city thinks this guy is a pervert just cuz he couldn't hold off on scratching at his pubes? I don't want to watch someone play with himself anymore than the next person, but I can just get up and walk to the next car...apparently she SAT there for several stops before he finally got off. No one really knows the truth about this...OR about what happened between Kobe and the girl...and y'all be nice to charmaine, or I will get my cousin big tony to come wup your assssses

Joanie M said...

I have something for you on my blog!

webberpa said...

Is that his wife? Why is her boob hanging out?

Briana said...

I never said that EVERY allegation of rape is true. But I do know that it takes a lot of courage to report it, and there is still a tendency of some people (hmmm) who automatically don't believe the woman. That view isn't any more fair than believing every allegation.

Since I am an attorney, and I have studied extensively the legal aspects of this crime, and I live in Colorado where the coverage was huge, I think that I may be able to analyze the evidence more impartially and accurately.

That's just the way it is (unless you are an attorney and you're just not telling us). said...

Kobe is a rapist who belongs in prison, not winning another NBA championship.

O.J. Simpson is a murderer who belongs in prison, not playing yet another round of golf.

What else do you want to know?


Eat Well. Live Well.

webberpa said...

Briana, you being an attorney know that rape is one of the toughest allegations to prove or disprove, when there are no witnesses and the evidence does not prove anything more than sexual intercourse did indeed take place. My point is(and I dont know this case very well, and I do not particularly like Kobe or basketball) that when a woman makes these allegations with her hand out for money it kinda makes it difficult to believe, from a man's point of view anyway.

webberpa said...

Hey, char, can you post another interesting episode from your weekend dating adventures so we get off this subject and have fun again?

Charmaine said...

Webberpa - You're wish is my command. Here it is.

webberpa said...

I am still lookin at her right boobie!

Senorita said...

Hey Charmaine,

I keep trying to read your newest post, but it won't allow me to. It says that the page doesn't exist, yet the title appears on my blogroll.

This isn't the first time this has happened.

Just thought you should know, and that I haven't forgotten about you.

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