Friday, February 20, 2009

DJ Chris and Charmizzle

I'm flying to Denver tomorrow to visit my college buddy, Chris.

I haven't seen Chris for 25 years.

After, "blowing up" my cell the bill was $200.00. In an act of chivalry he sent a check to cover the cost. I would NEVER have accepted but for the fact that I am not working and things are getting "tight".

I thought about getting impregnated with 8 babies and having America support me through this difficult time...

Chris asked me to visit and I said yes. He has a hip hop show on Sundays at 7:00-10:00 PM Mountain Time (6:00 PM Pacific) He has agreed to put my 10 year old nephew on the air. How hilarious. If you want to listen click below while the show is airing this Sunday. Select "The Eclipse" show. Maybe he'll put his old pal Charmaine on. I will say "hello" to one special blogger. Man, all I do is think of you people. Gotta tune in to see if it's you.

He's taking me to dinner for my birthday. He sent another check to cover the airfare. I will NOT, however, cash it. That would make me a hoochie. And you know, because I tell you all the time, I am NOT a whore. I have, however, a strange fondness for word especially when preceded by "Dirty".

Message to Katie (Verns girlfriend who reads my blog and reports to him what I say). (Communicating to my X Vern's Harem might become a regular feature of Middle Aged Dating.) "It's fun", she said laughing maniacally.

1. Vern said that he advised you to "hold on tight" or you would lose him. Not only did I NEVER "hold on tight", I never held on at ALL for seven (7) years. Don't let a man condescend to you like that. He should be holding onto YOU.

2. Behaving like an unpaid whore never works out for the woman. Just look in Vern's guestroom. Stop sleeping with him until he puts a ring on your finger. How can you spend the night when the woman he professed to love 6 months ago is SLEEPING IN HIS GUEST ROOM. Mother of God, what is WRONG with you people? Were you all raised in trailers by toothless hillbillies? Behave more modestly. Try to be a lady. Todays lesson is now over.


Lea said...

This is exactly what I tell my girl who is 18... not to mention the fact that girls don't call boys. And I follow that rule pretty damn close. Men want to give me their number and have me call them, I always decline and tell them, girls don't call boys, but you are welcome to my number.

I love reading your blog. I am living kind of vicarously through you right now... too bad I can't spell vicarously correct, *sigh*

Michelle said...

Have fun in Denver Charmaine!!!!!

Simplicity said...

Hey when's your Burfday? Are you a Pisces too??

Have an absolute blast with your buddy!

Braja said...

God, spineless women irritate me.

Have a hoot in Denver girl :)

JIMSIGHT said...

The Vern , what a dude. Have some mile high fun. I am starting to get ready for Tuscany. Hope you are well.

Girl, doesn't your plan have and thing like friends and family or fav five ?????

Ann's Rants said...

You are a riot. Have a fabulous time.

Anonymous said...

None of us would ever mistake you for a hoochie. Have fun in Denver! Good advice for your friend. Here's praying that she takes it.
Take care,

Comedy Goddess said...

Charmizzle, that's cute.

Have a great time in Denver! I'll try to catch the show.

Joanie said...

I want to see if Katie will respond. Or better yet, heed your advice.

Have a wonderful time in Denver!

SSP said...

have fun! say hi to briana and da boys for me :-)

is she really reading your blog?? that is kinda sick, isn't it? what kind of twisted pleasure does she get out of that? ewwww

Irish Gumbo said...

Madam, I do not now, nor have I ever thought of you as a 'hoochie'.

You'll always be a lady to me. A hilarious, charming lady full of useful tips and good advice.

But do I have to try and be a lady, too? Could be a bit difficult for me, being a dude and all...:)

SSP said...

so i missed it live, but i am listening to it NOW!!!! wah hoo!

SSP said...

well i guess I am listening to LAST weeks show...cuz you ain't no lady from Essence nightclub...oh well, i will catch it when it posts...have fun in the Bovine Metropolis!

Briana said...

Sara, I'm going to post some pictures of the radio station night soon. We also took video which is totally hysterical. Charmizzle and I are trying to figure out how to get it from my video camera to the computer, and then how to take a portion to post.

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