Friday, October 3, 2008

The Evil Truth

I've been avoiding "Evil Surfer Dude's" calls for days. Today, I decided to pick up.

He alerted me to the fact that I am depressed. I'm isolating myself, not really looking for a job the way I should and..."losing it" in general.

I know he's right.

He told me that I'm "changing" and that woke me up.

I recently happened upon a blog authored by a young woman who lost her job, lost a cousin due to murder and then her mother went a bit mad. This young lady spent 100 days in bed before crawling out of the morass.

I have nothing like her excuse, still I understand. It's easy to feel sorry for oneself when you feel alone. But I'm not alone. I'm merely making choices to become alone. It's totally different.

I told "Evil Surfer Dude" that being depressed was a perfectly natural response to my current state of affairs. He said that he thinks it's menopause.

I don't know much about menopause except for the fact that I am in it before my time. I'm in my 40's for God's sake. Most women experience this gradually. Mine was immediate. There was no gradual reduction in the production of Estrogen, it was an immediate full stop. My body is objecting. I'm out of work and going to the doctor feels like a luxury I can't afford.

If this were you, who ever you are, I would kick your ass and tell you to find a doctor who works with women on such matters. But it's me.

And that's all I have to say today.

Below is my song of the day. I sent it to Evil Surfer Dude the other night when my hormones were flashing. You don't have to say it. I already want to kill myself. I'm gonna get over it. If I'd had had a child, I would have liked the litte fella featured below to be my son. There go those hormones again. Dang it.
Below is the hit version that makes me dance in the living room. Dance with me, won't you?

You already know my penchant for classical music. Now you know I adore little DJ fellas and dance music. Did I ever tell you that my kid sister and I used to think we were black? Despite the conspicuous lack of junk in the trunk, she and I never resisted an opportunity to dance like we were sista's. She was better. In fact, she might indeed be black cuz white girls can't dance like that.

In a politically correct world, are you allowed to say "black"? I find it insulting to have to use the term "African American" because a person of color can be from the Caribbean, Fiji, Cuba, Jamaica, Domincan Republic..all sorts of places.


Mike said...

Maybe you're turning to the dark side hanging with evil surfer dude. Hey its been known to happen.

SSP said...

I will come kick your ass and tell you to find a doctor who works with women on such matters, if I thought that would help, but I don't think doctors are always the answer...try the easy stuff out and eat as close to "right" as you can. Get some sun every day....Give that a couple weeks...then maybe a massage? THE the doctor. All a doctor will do is tell you to get some exercise, eat right, relax, and maybe give you a pill... Trust me. I am not a doctor, but I have played one on stage.....{{{{{{{{charmaine}}}}}}}}}

Charmaine said...

mike-I hear that. Maybe Evil is getting to me. The bastard.

ssp-You're pretty terrific. I would never take "a pill" not this chickee. Not ever.

I'm gonna do something different. I feel a little ass kicking in my future. The minute I stop kicking ass... I get depressed.

I've been biting my tongue on several matters lately. It's not me. I think I'm gonna go take care of some bidness. hee hee. Stay tuned.

JIMSIGHT said...

See how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!

Just trying to cheer you up dear, sounds like you are now dating Dr. Evil...

I tried to listed to the song, I really did, I ended up putting James Brown to get the bad taste out of my ears, get on up..heh.. I am pretty sure he is black.

SSP said...

oh i like the little boy too, what a great voice...and the sparro song made me wanna get up and dance!!! I miss being a dancing fool!! getting all sweaty and string hair in my eyes,and not giving a dead rat's ass who is looking at me....

JIMSIGHT said...

Hope your feeling a little better today, just don't stop kicking ass if that's what works for you.

I always have an ear if you need to vent, or you can just punch me between the eyes if it makes you feel better.

Michelle J said...

Hey Charmaine,
Don't let yourself get all down in the dumps!! Life is good my articulate friend!! Maybe, you need to surround yourself with positive people, not evil who seems to like to put you down!!!!????

Exercise is amazing for when you feel blue, helps me tremendously!

Your videos are interesting. I may download that song to my ipod!!!

Briana said...

The first thing uttered by the tech at my last mammogram was, "Have you ever taken the pill?" Hmmm. Are you suggesting that the pill has a relationship to the incidence of breast cancer? Luckily, I was able to answer "no", because many years ago my big sis told me to never take it. She knows a thing or two!!!

Briana said...

And, when it comes to depression, I think it is an art that our family has perfected. If you need a little Prozac, let me know :)!

Charmaine said...

Hey thanks guys!! You're the best.

My day in the dumps is over. I worked out, albeit with Evil, and that was the ticket.

Hey Jim, you didn't like the little "pop" music ditties? I have a great Youtube of James Brown singing with Pavarotti.

About "the pill". I remember reading the entire inset sheet. It clearly depicted an association between the pill and all sorts of cancers. (I imagine no one in the history of the world ever read it. It was LONG. I never understood why no one, including my own doctor, thought this was relevant. I told every woman I knew or cared about to avoid it. No one listened, except my intelligent baby sis.

JIMSIGHT said...

Not so much, I know the tune you are talking is awesome, yes... hey the tunes that New York Raw or whatever her handle has up today is way more my style....did you check it out...its michelle right?

SSP said...

has everyone given up blogging? I miss you!