I've been avoiding "Evil Surfer Dude's" calls for days. Today, I decided to pick up.
He alerted me to the fact that I am depressed. I'm isolating myself, not really looking for a job the way I should and..."losing it" in general.
I know he's right.
He told me that I'm "changing" and that woke me up.
I recently happened upon a blog authored by a young woman who lost her job, lost a cousin due to murder and then her mother went a bit mad. This young lady spent 100 days in bed before crawling out of the morass.
I have nothing like her excuse, still I understand. It's easy to feel sorry for oneself when you feel alone. But I'm not alone. I'm merely making choices to become alone. It's totally different.
I told "Evil Surfer Dude" that being depressed was a perfectly natural response to my current state of affairs. He said that he thinks it's menopause.
I don't know much about menopause except for the fact that I am in it before my time. I'm in my 40's for God's sake. Most women experience this gradually. Mine was immediate. There was no gradual reduction in the production of Estrogen, it was an immediate full stop. My body is objecting. I'm out of work and going to the doctor feels like a luxury I can't afford.
If this were you, who ever you are, I would kick your ass and tell you to find a doctor who works with women on such matters. But it's me.
And that's all I have to say today.
Below is my song of the day. I sent it to Evil Surfer Dude the other night when my hormones were flashing. You don't have to say it. I already want to kill myself. I'm gonna get over it. If I'd had had a child, I would have liked the litte fella featured below to be my son. There go those hormones again. Dang it.
Below is the hit version that makes me dance in the living room. Dance with me, won't you?
You already know my penchant for classical music. Now you know I adore little DJ fellas and dance music. Did I ever tell you that my kid sister and I used to think we were black? Despite the conspicuous lack of junk in the trunk, she and I never resisted an opportunity to dance like we were sista's. She was better. In fact, she might indeed be black cuz white girls can't dance like that.
In a politically correct world, are you allowed to say "black"? I find it insulting to have to use the term "African American" because a person of color can be from the Caribbean, Fiji, Cuba, Jamaica, Domincan Republic..all sorts of places.