Monday, February 8, 2010

Crazy is as Crazy does.

Ring Ring



(That's how we greet each gives you the warm fuzzies.)

John:  "Do you have Erins address?"
Me:    "No.  Why?"
John:  (He's a psychiatrist and my favorite Uncle)  It has recently dawned on me that your sister, Erin, has put her ducks in a row.  Assembled, if you will, a trail of blame by calling everyone the night your cousin Michael shot himself.
Me:    I know, that's why I called you. Call Briana, she has it.

Ring Ring

Briana:  John called.  He told me to call the police.  They said they would call back in 30 minutes.  That was 40 minutes ago.
Me:  Call them and ask what happened.
Briana:  I can't, I don't have the number.
Me:   His number must be in your cell phone.  Give it to me.
Briana:  You're right.  It's xxx-xxxx.
Me:  Hi, is this officer Rick?
Officer Rick:  Yes it is indeed.  (I heard the smile on his face.)
Me:  Hi, I'm Charmaine.  You were called to visit my sister because we, my sister and I, were afraid she attemped suicide.
Officer Rick:  Oh....yes of course.  I was just there.  You're sister is not dead.  I mean, she didn't answer the door but neighbours saw her earlier today.

Then it got weird.  The man seemed to know my sister too well. (I've always suspected my sister was an escort or something like pay the bills.) He said he lived in her neighbourhood.  He said things like, "Can I talk to you off the record?"  "Yes," I lied. (There is no off the record with me.) He said he'd arrested her before for stabbing some guy.  "What?" I said.  "If she stabbed someone isn't that attempted murder?  Shouldn't she be in jail?" 

Officer Rick:  "Well your sister was an attorney.  She knows how to work the system.  The neighbours want her out, she does things like put speakers in the window sill and blast music at 2:00AM to piss them off... her house is in forclosure.  She smokes meth by the way.

Me:  "Huh?  I wonder how she meets her mortgage payment."  (I was secretly, bizarrely proud of my sister for blasting her stereo.) 

Officer Rick:  "She doesn't pay the mortgage.  In the interim there are men...alot of men."

Me:  "How do you know?"

There was something smarmy about him. He was too familiar with me. I felt something may have "occured" between them. Call me crazy.

To my sister:   You are still a member of this family.  You have a million apologies to make  Still, none of us want to see you dead.  I remember when we were young.  You were smart, clever, beautiful and as ambitious as you were cruel.  I can see you, ...back then.  You're wearing a poncho with ridiculous dangly things. Look, there we are...rushing toward the slip and slide shrieking with laughter.  There is only one way back... tell the truth and resist feeling sorry for yourself.  Stop taking drugs and...uh...stop stabbing people.

Find your way back...homeward. I'm waiting.



Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I totally get this post. My older brother lost every penny of my parents, then has the nerve to tell them that they need to pay his rent. Disenfranchised and apologies....I get that.

LL said...

And here I was going to leave a completely humourous comment until I got to the last paragraph...

Now all I can do is give you a *smooch*.

Kate said...

Wow this was a really strong post to read. I sympathise my sister was a mess at one point but she straightened herself out. All the best to you and your sister.

Kate xx

Briana said...

Rick called me back immediately prior to Charmaine calling him. My conversation with him was similar, but, for some reason, he didn't disclose quite as much information as he told Charmaine. How does she do that?

咖啡機 said...


Char said...

I have a neice that is in real trouble. It is killing my sister, and I hurt for the both of them. So sorry, I know how helpless you must feel.


Briana said...

Our mother told me to tear up the will that she did years ago which disinherited Erin. She said she's been saving up (can't be much since she lives on social security), and she wants everyone to be treated equally.

I said, ok, then give me your credit card and I'll charge an $11,000 cash advance - Then we'll be equal.

She laughed.

LL said...

Happy VD my dear!

Anita said...


Oh my. I remember Erin, and am sorry to hear that she has gone down such a hard path. I am especially sorry for you and Briana, because I know all too well how the family suffers. (I have a stepson who is a recovering addict.)

Beautifully written; thanks for sharing.