As Pool Boy aptly named it, my porch is a teleportation device. People just pop up, like magic.
There is no call, no annoucement...nothing. I look out the glass panes of my front door and...POOF, there is a man.
When I used to hang out with "Vern" he used to do the same thing. His excuse was, "You have this effect on a man". Huh? Wha? The reason they do this is because they know if they call in advance, you will leave.
Today, I was innocently commenting on a post from Pool Boy and POOF! Evil Surfer Dude was on my porch.
I treated him to my usual polite response; "Go Away". He wouldn't. He asked, "Can I use your bathroom I've had a long drive?". I locked the door. (We can see each other through the glass.)
I replied, "No, go away". He retored, "Can we please talk Charmaine?" I replied, "No. Go away".
I'm repetitive when cornered.
"Can we work out?" I thought he was talking about our relationship. "No, go away". Then it dawned on me he was talking about literally working out. I haven't for over a week.
On the heels of a less then successful date with Pool Boy, I pondered for a second. Then I thought, what the hell. I need to work out.
We went to the beach and played frisbee in the ocean up to our knees. When we were done, we came back to my place. I thought I heard somthing on the stairs. Two seconds later, I looked out the door and it was "The Vern". He was wearing a hideously bright red t-shirt I bought him in Costa Rica. It has either shrunk considerably or the man has developed a belly. He had a scraggily beard and looked like a "Mountain Man".
Vern is in the doorway and Evil Surfer Dude is standing beside me. Both men stare at each other like deer caught in headlights. I panicked. Then I introduced them.
Vern commented, "Jee, it's looks like you have quite a sunburn".
Hell no. It was NO sunburn. It was my famous, amazing blushing. I can turn redder then an heirloom tomato in 2 seconds. I had nothing to be embarassed about. But was. I was embarassed that I had let Evil Surfer Dude in. I knew that Vern probably wanted, in a friendly way, to simply take me out to dinner. I would have liked that.
Vern looked particular scruffy, which is no small accomplishment. They shook hands. "I see you have company so I'll leave", said Vern. He did, then skipped back up the steps to give me a coupon for tires. (He knows I am shopping for tires). Then he left.
"So, you must know this guy really well if he just pops up on your doorstep", said Evil Surfer Dude.