Friday, September 12, 2008

The Producer

He's strange. He’s a writer/producer. He produced “Seventh Heaven” and some other stuff. We spoke on the phone for 3 hours (he was a slow talker) until my phone died. .

He told me that I am a gifted writer, which probably means he wants to have sex with me.

Still, when a “real” writer tells you that, it should make you happy. It would indeed make me happy if he didn’t also happen to be, frankly, insane. Further, based on his emails, writers are terrible writers.

We talked about politics. We have similar views which is an important thing to have in common. What we don’t have in common is the fact that I am not taking psychotropic medication (he does) and I have not been in “therapy” for 25 years (he has).

The man is edgier than a serrated knife. Near the end of our 3 hour conversation we had a “tiff’ when he mentioned that some of his friends dogs are on Prozac. That’s Hollywood.

He commented that he sometimes helps friends out “in a pinch” when they need to put their dog down prior to sending it to the gallows. (I could hear his dogs barking in the distance) He will visit the home of friends and sedate their canine. He said; “Dogs know what is happening. They know if they are going to the Vet that it is going to be bad. It is kinder to sedate them before actually taking them to the Vet.”

I responded, “How in the hell do you know what a dog is thinking? Are you the “Dog Whisperer” or "Doctor Doolittle"?

Before I could utter another phrase, my phone died.

I thought that was the end of it. But he just emailed me asking if I wanted to meet. Additionally, he is trying to psychoanalyze me. According to him, I am afraid of men. He also commented that I am interesting and bright.

I am always "interesting and bright" to men on drugs.

He invited me to some party about a show he produced in the 80’s starring William Katz. I declined. Now there is some 60’s party. I’m tempted.

Who wouldn’t want to wear bell-bottoms, a mood ring and a poncho? But me, drive to Hollywood?
It’s not going to happen.


Mike said...

Must be The Greatest American Hero. Sounds like a winner to me. How can you pass an evening with a man who is going to try and change and control you.

Charmaine said...

Yes, that was the show!!! I don't think I ever saw it.

Change and control me, I'm not afraid of that. I'm afraid he is going to drug me.

ha ha

JIMSIGHT said...

Better living thru chemistry.

Dr. Kovorkean of the canine set so to speak, I think my dogs may have mentioned something about that while they were on prozac...NOT

I wish I was a shiny object too, I mean bright.

Spicy Latina said...

Wow these guys are getting scarier and scarier! I think it might be time to put the online dating thing to rest.

P.O.M. said...

Oh shit. That is really fun. First off - you are afraid of men. Second - what if he sent a car for you so you didn't have to drive to LA? You should totally go. OR tell him to throw a party and I will go with you! FO SHO.

Charmaine said...

This just in. The writer/producer just texted me to see if I wanted to go to the party. Apparently it is tomorrow night and I didn't realize this. I texted back that I had plans.

Then he called. He started saying the most outrageous things, accusing me of intentionally ruining it for him cuz it's too late for him to ask someone else. Then, he said, "Fuck you. You are a rude asshole."

p.o.m. this was not a party we needed to be at.

Charmaine said...

Pool boy. I'm not bright. Trust me. He was just trying to....well you KNOW.

In his last email to me he said that "all I spew is denial based drivel".

Oh what a difference a day makes.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

JIMSIGHT said...

My oh my, he sounds so stable.

I was referencing that The Producer may be captivated by shiny objects.

Gee couldn't we go to the party together...ahahahah, they sounds like a hoot.

Looking forward to a nice dinner with Charmaine, feel free to wear a mood ring and bells if you like.

Charmaine said...


It's 7:30 230 Forest, right?

I can't remember because, as you know, I can't remember anything.

Charmaine said...

I emailed the producer. I had several unread messages.

I responded, "If you meant to land a blow with your final comment it didn't really work. "Fuck you" is what my mother says to me when she's trying to be nice.

Maybe I AM rude. Am I rude?

JIMSIGHT said...

That is correct on both, guess you can remember some things. I will call you and remind you tomorrow.

No you are not rude, that is way funny actually, should give him something to talk about in therapy.

P.O.M. said...

Damn that is a serious pychosis there. wow. It kinda reminds me of Matt #3. Remember when I tried to be nice and say that we didn't have enough in common and he called me an "OC Get Around Girl" and told me to Fuck off. Brilliant, I say. Just brilliant.

I guess the party is off. We would have had fun. We could have fun at a bankers conference.

Michelle J said...

My goodness...i am coming late to this party!! I can't believe the guile of some guys!!! OK, i don't even know if guile is the right word to use, i just like using it!! Anyway, why are people, guys in particular so difficult and strange sometimes???

Gotta tell you Pool boy sounds totally great compared to all the others...hope you have a great dinner!!!


SF said...

i too am late to the party, but charmaine, I will suggest you drop your age range for potential men a few decades....nothing personal pool boy, since you seem more exception than rule (which is ALWAYS a good thing), but men who make it past 40 and are either STILL single, or single AGAIN, are single for a reason....and it was probably not their "choice." They were either so messed up by their parents that they made unfit husbands, but stuck it out "for the kids." Now the kids are in college, they are divorced and haven't learned a thing OR they simply were not meant to be in a relationship. Now, the younger men have so fewer expectations, a lot fewer years and therapy and usually no children to plague the back of their minds....just a I am considering myself, since I keep getting bizarre, yet, strangely intriguing offers from 20 somethings......

JIMSIGHT said...

sf, yes I am single for reason, you may want to read my blog, you will learn that reason in a hurry.

and oh, I am sure your logic on over 40 and single does not apply to the fairer sex.

Steph said...

You should probably Run. Far, and fast. And quickly before you get injected with doggy drugs or something.

Sometimes rude is required. Sometimes rude is not required, but bitchy-ness is. It's one of those balance things. :-D

SF said...

jimsight :-) oh trust me, i AM single for many reasons....and i will be the first to admit it!! :-D


Briana said...

I'm a smidge over 40 and not single, although I'm thinking that I should be! Seriously, does anyone really need a man? I've already gotten the sperm and the 3 lovely boys (of course, it wouldn't have killed him to provide one fricking X chromosome). If this dude could have guaranteed that William Katz would be at the party, I would have gone. He was hot!

Charmaine said...


I was secretly hoping that "The Producer" would call me a "bitch".

I was going to respond, "Men always call me a bitch when I differentiate myself from a doormat".

I've been waiting for eons to use that line. heh heh