The Break Up - Part 2

Bad Boy Gone Good showed up at my work yesterday with these flowers, a book, senior citizen mints and two cards. One said, bumpy road ahead and the other said that he was nuts about me.

He delivered them himself. (Always embarassing). I walked him out of the office and we sort of talked, but not really. He looked really handsome . I sort of began regretting everything....

So he's back on match.com, I'm back on match.com...I just don't get why he brought the gifts?

Was it to proove that contrary to my accusations he wasn't cheap?

Men.

The Break Up

As you can imagine, I sent quite the email to Bad Boy Gone Good after our third date.

Hi Bad Boy Gone Good,

I had a great time with you today. Thank you.

I need to say that I was taken aback my your remark “The least you could do is buy me lunch”. It sort of killed my budding romantic feelings. You saved 40 bucks, but lost more. Namely me.

I have never paid for lunch or dinner when on a date. You’re response was, “don’t you want to contribute?”

My delayed response is yes, but not on the third date.

Hw shot back with an arsenal.

So, I replied:

Dear Bad Boy Gone Good,

I disagree with everything you just said.

If you can't afford to date, don't date. Better yet, get a job.

You seem to feel that I am renting your time and that it has economic value necessitating that I pay for what we do in order to "contribute".

You're too old to be a gigalo.

PS: Please don't shoot me. I've seen your aim, and it's good.

So h'es calling, and calling and calling....I'm ignoring, ignoring and ignoring....

Match.com Dangers

It finally happened.

What we single broads dread and simulateously believe will never happen.

A match.com man, one I decided NOT to meet just showed up on my doorstep univited. He drove for several hours to get there. (I had cancelled our first date)

The excuse was that he had a book to give me.

I said, "I don't know how you got my address but obviously you have it so why didn't you just mail it"?

(I guess some questions are irrelevant).

I took the book, sent him on his way. Then I made sure to remove my address from the white pages.

Now on to more blissfull dating.

Use of the term blissfull...that was sarcasm. In case you're new to the blog. If you are new that means you are my 3 rd reader.

Defcon 4

You may notice some "holes" in my recent dating blog. The truth is, the man I am knows how to google. (Alot of the men I date still have VCR's. )

If you google me just right, you'll find where I work, associations I belong to and yes....the blog.

If he HAD googled me, please lord never let him google me, he would have been reading about himself right NOW. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not always....nice. So I hid the last three entries. (They're back up...see Worst Date I ever Loved...coming soon.

Sound the alarms Wir...Wir.....We are now at Defcon 4. Measures have been taken to protect the guilty.

This is war, man.

Date Night - Doug

Date 1 - Bandera, Corona Del Mar

I've decided the best thing about dating is arriving 15 minutes early... and checkin' out the local color (middle-aged men). Bandera is middle-aged man MECCA.

Oh Lord, bring me to the holy land. Or, praise Allah...whatever.

Don't believe me? Meet me there next Thursday.

I never noticed men noticing me before. Maybe they did, I just never noticed. When you're alone in a restaurant you have to notice. You're eyes have to go....somewhere.

Favorite Quote:"You're kinda cute. Not in a gorgeous classically beautiful unapproachable bitch kinda a way, but in an average girl next door kind a way.

This man was very overweight. Nothing like his picture above. He had man boobs and man hips. I didn't care right up until the moment he graced me with the above comment.

Restaurant Review **** (4 stars)
BANDERA
Middle age women and men are everyone. EVERYWHERE!! Some nights appear to be octagenarian night. If you middle aged (like me) on those nights you'll be a young hot chick. Food is great. Simple, direct and I love it. We had grilled seabass, green beans with olives and fingerling potatoes and mashed potatoes and a zippy little salad of baby greens with corn bread croutons. It's really dark in Bandera. I look younger in the dark.

Date Report

Saturday I went out with Shorty. Our date lasted for 10 hours.
Date overload.

Date Report - "Gay Man Dan"

My date would not make eye contact. We talked as he looked at the table, at my elbow, at the waitress....everywhere....except at me.

He was married for 20 years. His last marriage ended after 4 months. He spent alot of money on his new wife and her children. Then, in an act of freakish serendipity she inherited money and promptly left him.

My date said, "I guess she didn't need me anymore".

He wasn't handsome but had a certain "something". He was the kind of guy who likes to "buy" women". As we dined there was this strange sound in my head.

The sound of an electronic accounting calculator. The one that makes noise?
I said, "yes", and "uh huh" as he spoke at all the proper moments BUT inside my head I was trying to determine...

How much would I cost?

How much would I sell myself for? I know most people would say, Oh...I'm not for sale but, really? All I need is $50,000.00. (Downpayment on a condo) and the deal is closed.

I'm all yours.

Back to the date.

With his failure to look at me...my eye began to roam. Crow Bar had very attractive men. They were young and hip and in their 40's.

We had drinks, then we went to Pelican Hill Golf Club House and then....

He took me to...

A GAY BAR.

Yes he did. Ahh.

I mean, this would have been funny with friends or....But on a first date?

Favorite Quote from my Date: "Let's go to a gay bar".

Restaurant Review****(4 stars)
CROW BAR
Great wine and appetizers. I had flat bread with carmelized onion, fig jam, prosciutto and bits of melted gorgonzola. Damn it was good.

PELICAN HILL CLUB HOUSE**(2 stars)
I dont' see what the fuss is all about. A bunch of old men with women who havebeen surgically altered beyond recongnition. Some of them look like "escorts". I didn't like the vibe at all. It reminded me of The Ritz in Newport Beach. Dirty old men, good steaks and hookers. Yuk.

BOUNCE
Cute...er kind a dumpy little gay bar in Laguna Beach. I knew gay bars existed in Laguna Beach, duh. I just didn't know where. There were 5 men in the joint. Maybe it was early. The bartender was funny. No one would talk to me. Looking back, I wonder if the gay men thought that we were this middle aged couple looking for some.....I don't even want to go there. Deep breath....let it go.