Monday, December 7, 2009

Why I'm not married.


That One Mom said...

It makes you sick, doesn't it? Courting the idea of having to change a piece of you - a huge piece of you - to keep a man in your life? Don't do it. The regret, the feeling of loss (for losing a piece of yourself) will consume you and drive a wedge into that relationship anyway.

Love is amazing, but love is cruel. The more we compromise pieces of ourself to find it, obtain it, or keep it, the harder it becomes to recognize we derserve and will find someone that loves us exactly the way we are...

Char said...

Listen to That One Mom! What she's saying should echo in your head.

And if you think The King is going to change....forget it!


Kelly said...

I've come to the conclusion that the only reason you keep allowing this man back in your life is to provide fodder for your blog. Or else he's able to breathe through his ears for extended periods of time but no matter how great the sex is, no man is worth being treated the way he treats you.

Charmaine said...

Kelly, thanks for your comment.

Did I say The King had treated me badly? I swear, he never has. It's me, always me, that concocts things, dumps him, runs away and all that jazz.

I think you are responding to my broken heart. You think only a man could do that to you. I'm here to can actually to it to yourself.


He has committed no crime. I'd tell you if he had. I'm a tattletale from WAYYYYY back.

hee hee


Tammy said...

There is a reason this relationship is not working, and it can not be "all your fault".

Eventually, you have to get off of this roller coaster. Trust me, I've been there.

secret agent woman said...

Having put up with WAY more than I should have from a variety of men, I'm hardly one to talk. And yet... cruising for porn on the web and being unable to remember your name? What will the third strike be?

Ellie said...

THIRD strike? Thirty-third. Forget the silver and say bye-bye.

Charmaine said...

I know that you are trying to be supportive. But you're wrong about him.

You merely believe in my characterisation of him.

He's a good man.

I'm the liar, the false representer, the hider and maker of's all me people.

I'm a work in progress and I'm trying to be more honest.

I'm so ashamed I think I might just delete this blog once and for all. It's not helping's hurting.

♥ Braja said...

If it's hurting, Charmaine, then retreat.....we'll wait....

Don said...

Charmaine - you are not an idiot; you are not a liar: you are a quiet, truthful observer of what is happening. Believe in it.

Thoughts taken from your blog: think about it!

1)He's not interested in other women - like you have an exclusive relationship?

2) He makes you look good? Hmmm, why do I think you look just fine anyway? Numskull!

3)Guy across the street - she wearing sweat pants? What were you wearing? Bet your ass it wasn't sweat pants! Couldn't he just wanted her to kind of - FIT IN?

4)Naked pictures on the net - isn't that what it's for? Shut up and mind your own email!

5)Called you Charlene? Sara? Oh please! After a year? What an asshole!

6)I love him, but I can't keep my mouth shut. You love some slug who doesn't bother to remember your name - how lame is that?

Come on! I'd like to keep reading your blog but if you are a blind doormat why would I bother???? Get over this asshole!

Don said...

Christ! I just read the way you've re-written this post. You ARE an idiot! He is a TOTAL USING ASSHOLE! RUN!!! You idiot! Run for your life!

King of New York Hacks said...

Braja is truly a sage...Listen to her...I always liked Charles Bukowski's quote on love ...
" Love is a fog that burns with the first daylight of reality. "

Charmaine said...

Wow. I mean WOW!!!

Don, of course we had an exclusive relationship. Isn't that what the term relationship means?

You're an idiot for thinking I'm an idiot.

Nobody can know what transpires between two people. I'm not simplistic enough to talk about the wine and roses. I talk about the crap nobody talks about.

I'm certain there are ignominious flaws in those you love.

You probably don't even know what the word ignominious means. I'm showing restraint here because I know you mean well.

I'm forgiving YOUR slanderous remarks.

Am I an idiot for forgiving YOU? Of course not. It's just fine when you are on the receiving end of love and forgiveness.

But you don't know me. You only know what I've led you to believe.

You slither down the garden path that I've created... you know...kind of like a slug I could crush beneath my heel.

Whose the idiot now?

Do you think it's easy to love a person like me? Anyone with the courage has my respect and yes, devotion.

So I'll keep loving him even if I never see him again. He did alot for me not the least of which was teaching me how to feel again.

You think he's using me? Well my friend, we're all using each other in some way.

You think my 60 year old neighbour should have changed out of her sweat pants to "fit in"? She fit in just fine.

I could give you some sartorial advice...and trust need it.

Not gonna read my blog anymore? How will I ever prevent myself from slitting my wrists...oh the horror...the horror.

I could level you with the flick of my pen. All of you with your mundane comments and juvenile observations. It's so relaxing reading them...kind of like relaxing into a coma.

If this is an actual slice of humanity, if your comments are any indication of the brain power present in America then I'm afraid...for all of us.

Moronic, brainless shit heads.

It looks like somebody got up no the wrong side of the bed today.

SSP said...

girl if you can handle him not remembering your name by NOW, I'd say this is IT!! don't roll up the drawbridge YET....let yourself ARE hot and attractive and spunky and quirky, and all those other good things (but then I am all those things and I am maybe you better NOT listen to me....)

Charmaine said...

Oh jeez. How do you delete your own comment?


Bueller? Bueller?

LL said...

Never was a big fan of tennis for this very reason...

Do what you want Charm. You're the one that has to live with the decision.

It's also a good thing I waited until after your ignominious comment, that way you couldn't possibly be speaking of me. :P

As for deleting a comment... click on the trashcan.

Sharon said...

I'm glad you worked it out since you love him. But why blame yourself? All those times he drove off without you, broke up with you, said mean things to you. He deserved the verbal smack down. That's what girlfriends are for when you get broken up with. I would hope you would do the same with me. It's cause we love you. And the pictures prove, you are a hot piece of ass.

It would be a shame if you deleted your blog. I enjoy it very much and look forward to the entries. I wish you could have sent The Nerd my way. He was totally my type.

I still don't really care for him but I'm still in a man hating phase right now so I'm biased. Good luck. I hope he (not you) changes and can be there for you like you need him to be.

You are a lovely woman.

Anonymous said...


plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Hey, really enjoyed this post - and take it from me, you're no plain Jane.

Anita said...

Wow! Your blog sure gets a lot of traffic!

My opinions, for what they are worth, are simple: the heart wants what the heart wants. Yours wants the King. Lucky King! The ones that are worth being with are very often not easy to be with--I freely admit that I can be pretty difficult, my s-o is difficult at times, the King has presented you with challanges and you claim to have done the same. Maybe the King has been difficultin order to see how easily you scare away! Hang in there girl; if you are as good a judge of character as I think you are a person, it will be worth it!

And please don't delete your blog! Or if you do, start a new one first--I would miss you, and I know that I am not alone!

Tomatoaddict said...

I LOVE your blog. I would be very sad if you deleted it.
I think you are as real as it gets and are very self-aware.
God bless sweetie and don't let some of these commentators make you feel bad. You are awesome.

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