I won't be weak like I've been before.
I won't walk away from things or people I fear.
I won't walk away from love. But I think, with regard to love, it may be too late.
Such horrible pain I feel, but wondrously happy to know that I can indeed feel love. I can. And I can fight for it too.
I don't think I'll win. But I WILL die trying.
I guess it's all normal for you. Love is just a consequence of living for most people. Not for me. My heart has been dead for 28 years. The day my father died, I was done. All the battles I fought and won afterward...the lawyers, the doctors, trying to finish college, starting a business...my life was not my own. There where other people to think of. My family. It was alot for a 20 year old to deal with. But I did it. Something in me died.
I've made a mess of things. Love. The minute I saw it...I pretty much wanted to slit it's throat.
Love can hurt you. Love can destroy all of your dreams, your entire life really. So I've spent my life...fighting against it.
SSP (fellow blogger) asked me if I'm okay. People are always asking me if I'm okay these days. It fascinates me.
But somehow...in my current weakness...I know there is strenght. Admitting weakness is a form of strenght.
But then you have to get up and fight again. Fight for your life..