Thursday, July 31, 2008

Unemployment and Surprises

I hate surprises. Even more then unemployment.

Secondly, I hate it when people show up at my house uninvited. I ALWAYS look like hell, the place is ALWAYS a wreck and sometimes there is evidence of ....er...little habits I am not ready to disclose. (Nothing illegal folks, I'm an upstanding American)

So, of course, Surfer Dude shows up on my doorstep this AM. I had not answered the phone earlier when he'd called. I was still in bed. (It's an unemployment thing.)

When he arrived I was in the shower and he scared the heck out of me. This set the stage for the next hour. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's not pretty. Perhaps get a tissue?

I sent Surfer Dude my resume yesterday. He arrived today having re-written the entire thing.

He dove immediately into how my resume was terrible, had sentence fragments and redundancies galore. He read one line out loud and said that if he had received this resume he would have said, "OTL loser". He was frankly disgusted by it and it showed on his face. (Have I ever mentioned that I don't like to be criticized? I don't) So I'm trying to clean up the place in my bathrobe, no make up on, red face....I'm not even listening to him. Still...

This makes me MAD. I told him to go to hell. Remember, I'm sexy like that.

At one point he asked why I hadn't answered the phone and was it because I hadn't come home last night? Further, he detected dishes in the sink which made it appear that I had cooked breakfast for two.

(Yes, two of ME). Inappropriate jealousy reared it's ugly head. (Did I mention that his father abused his mother?) I've been waiting for Surfer Dude to display similar behavior. I think I saw it once before and...ignored it. That's what you do when you're innocent.

Irrational jealousy and all that it insinuates is an out and out insult. I told him to "stop insulting me" to which he replied, "if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen". I cleverly retorted, "dude, you're in MY kitchen".

Then it got ugly. I told him I didn't need him to re-write my resume because I've obtained every job I ever applied for. (slight lie) He told me I was the most ungrateful woman he had ever met. (slightly true) He took his painting ladder (the symbol of our relationship) and left. One minute it's there, the next it's not.

All I can say is that the apple pie's powers were not enough. I meant to go to his place yesterday to make the lasagna (in which case everything would be fine) but chose to work on my resume instead.

Unemployment is messing up my life. I've been unemployed for 15 days.

Oh and...after he left I decided to actually read the resume he re-wrote. He was totally correct. It was MUCH better. So I made the changes and sent one out today.

Surfer Dude is, I think, gone. But I may have dodged a bullet.

6 comments:

Michelle J said...

Hi, i am sorry about surfer dude! Maybe, its for the best??? He really doesn't sound very nice, IMHO! You deserve much much much better!!!

I'm just saying!!!

SF said...

and given the size of his, umm, well you know....you might have outgrown his usefulness sooner or later anyway, painting ladder aside.....i just think for him to infer you were not home when he called, when you gave it up to him after considerable contemplation, was just ridiculous...I would have thrown something at him.

Stephanie said...

Aww that's too bad, (except kind of not) ...I think you did dodge a bullet. Irrational jealousy + abusive Father = bad potential. And I have to agree with sf's first point too... :)

P.O.M. said...

No. 1 You know he is not gone yet. This is your pattern my dear.

No. 2. You really should move in with him so I can have your apartment. (kidding. not really)

No. 3. I got your text and I don't know. I really don't know but I'm just going to do my own thing now. I already tried really hard and it didn't work. He needs to try.

P.O.M. said...

PS: I hate the stop overs too. That needs to be NIPPED in the BUD. Although it happens to me all the time. I did nip it with the others, just not the ONE.

Charmaine said...

YOU ARE AWESOME;