Hey Big Spender...

The minute he walked in the room…I could tell he was a man of distinction

A real big spender…

(Cue needle dragging across a vinyl record.)

I sat down at the ultra hip dimly lit bar. I arrived early. Despite my age I still get uncomfortable seated alone at a bar.

My date called to admit he’d be late. (We were both event planners.) Being late… is the kiss of death.

I confessed to the bartender I was meeting a match.com date. I made a similar announcement to the group next to me. They moved in, as if to protect me.

A tall manly guy towered over me, “If things don’t work out, I’ll protect you…if you don’t mind.”

Minutes later an irritating light caught my eye. Some blond 25 year old at the edge of the bar was taking my picture. Wha the? Paparazzi?

He came up; snapping several photos, then asked my permission, retroactively. He claimed to be with a newspaper in New York. (I didn’t buy it either.)

The tall man re-appeared, “Do you want me to deck him?” he said. I was going to say, “yes” but…

My date arrived.

The kid would NOT stop taking my picture. He put the camera on his lap, pointed and snapped away… flash…flash….My date gave him a dirty look. The boy approached and introduced himself.

My date and he were about to enter into a skirmish…

The tall man appeared again, staring into my eyes… “’I can take care of this if you like”, he said.

I looked at my date, clearly uncomfortable…telling me how beautiful my eyes were…

I can’t remember what he looked like…

The tall man that showed up to protect my pretend honor… I could identify him in a police line-up.