This is not a post about the Lord.
I was almost home, stuck in a traffic when I saw him.
Motorcyle cop at 6:00 o'clock (behind me). "Maybe he won't notice my plates?" I optimistically mused.
Me: "Hi officer, I know why you pulled me over."
Police: "Oh really, why?"
Me: "Because you want a date to the Policeman's ball?"
Police: "No, that's not it."
Me: "Then there must be some mistake".
Police: "You're a funny woman."
Me: "Yea, so they say".
Police: "I spotted you way back on Iris Street."
Me: "Oh, so now your following me? You must really be desperate.
Police: License and registration please. Why is your registration expired?"
Me: Cuz I'm broke.
Police: "So times are tough eh?" (Sencing I might be able to capitalize on this...)
Me: "Oh yes, tough tough tough. He was cute so I scanned his ring finger. But I sensed a certain stupidity.
Me: "I could never marry a stupid man."
Police: Parden me?
Police: Where were you coming from?
Me: "A meeting with Al Kaida." I knew he wasn't listening.
Police: "Your registration is expired AND you're not wearing your seatbelt."
Me: "Shit." "I mean, Shiate...uh, Muslim. What about those Shiates officer?"
Police: "AND your license is expired."
Me: "Wha the Fuc..uh...dge. Fudge. Oh hell... just shoot me."