Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Event Planning for Pot Heads?

I was hired to oversee an art auction. My client was not “typical”. They were a non-profit organization.

The first indication this would be, um..“different”? It took place in an “alternative” coffee shop.

“I’m okay with “alternative”...despite being conservative.

I’m complex like that.

Some of the artists didn’t show up. My team represented them at their “art stations”. I held out for the artist that sketched lovely drawings of whales...and a couple of Jesus portraits.

I respectfully placed his bio in a cracked plastic frame. There was a reason he hadn’t shown up.

He was incarcerated in the State Penitentiary.

He wasn’t the only one.

I cajoled a volunteer to rep the artist that crocheted….wait for it….lingerie. Hilariously, the cup sizes of the bra didn't match, not even close. The panties (yellow and pink yarn) were thong-style.

After minutes of misrepresenting MY artist, I joined my young volunteer and her unsellable lingerie. She was with an older gentleman (my age) I assumed was the artist.

“Interesting lingerie set,” I commented. “Those leather pouches are cute too”.

“Have you seen the other side of the pouches?” the man asked. He flipped one over, revealing a depiction of a marijuana leaf. (He’d been concealing the leaf in order to increase sales.)

“We have matching lighters, too” he smiled.

I burst out laughing. The young volunteer planner (a University of Denver student and my protege) interjected, “Charmaine, I’d like you to meet my father, Jerry”.

“Are you a professional pot-head?” I asked.

“I’m an archeologist” he corrected.“ I have a business with 20 employees. I have a Vineyard in the mountains. I'm NOT the artist.”

.
“Okay people.” I barked. Let’s sell some a marijuana pouches!  Bonny, please model the crocheted lingerie.  Don't look at me like that."

“This small leather pouch is perfect for a crack rock” Jerry said to a customer.

We laughed... punch drunk.  His daughter watched us, rolling her eyes affectionately.

I whispered, “The customers are going to think we’re high.”

“I know,” he giggled, “Isn’t it great?"

12 comments:

Irish Gumbo said...

I think I knew some professional potheads, back in the day...but none of them made the "lingerie".

That's an interesting life you lead, Charmaine :)

Charmaine said...

Irish - My only regret is not taking a photograph of said lingerie.

Seriously...I've never seen anything like it.

I tried the package price approach..."If you buy this marijuana pouch with matching leather lighter I'll throw in the crocheted lingerie for half price."


It didn't work.

Charlene said...

I hope you did go to dinner with him and her.

Joanie M said...

Never a dull moment with you, is there? You always seem to be involved with wacky unusual people and events!

LL said...

What if that cover has a marijuana leaf on it?

BTW... I think you've found your calling.

The Constant Complainer said...

Charmaine, I absolutely love your blog. I'm a first-time visitor from Cleveland. I saw a comment you made on LL's blog and decided to click-through.

Your humor is just my style. LOL. There aren't many! I plan to visit back more frequently.

Have a great Thursday!

Don said...

Just do me a favor and don't start dating the artist (guy?) who's locked up in the pen. I hate it when that happens. I never know where to send the (stolen) wedding silver.

event planning said...

For any company being able to plan large scale corporate meetings is essential to the growth and prosperity of your business. Many corporations will have a team of employees whose job responsibilities include planning these corporate meetings and conferences.

Charmaine said...

Nameless person at event planning.com - Uh, you're preaching to the choir. But not even I believe it.

Don - I have no future plans to date a pot head OR a jail bird. I'm so uptight. ewink.

Ann Imig said...

Can you coordinate that with my Grandma's afgan? Perfect.

Claire said...

Love the art exhibit - reminds me of the time I exhibited some of my art work at an "Outsider's Art Show" at the local House of Blues!!!

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