Change of pace from dating.

I entered a writing competion.  I placed in the top 40.  Not great.

The great part is that writers made comments.  Just on a blog...no biggee. My point?  My point is when you tell the truth, your story will be legitimately heard and understood.  Here, we make fun of men and laugh. But in real life, I write about tragic things.  Below are some comments.  They're not funny...you will likely run for the hills.  I would if I were you.

I'm flanked by two strange bedfellows. Humor on my right and sadness to my left.

Lena said...
This piece is full of emotions. I can practically feel the pain. Really good work. Liked it.
Preeti said...
It is sad to dream about the death of someone you love. Maybe it is the manifestation of a deep-rooted feeling you are never going to belong to each other.
Hmmnn... poignant and melancholic.
Very well written.
Ayodele Morocco-Clarke said...  (Read one of her horrific published short stories at the link below.) http://storytime-ayodele-morocco-clarke.blogspot.com/
You have in tight constraint effectively conveyed the ache of immense loss. Fab!

Bernita said...
Bleak.
JaneyV said...
The frustration of loss that need not have been. Well told.
Aimee Laine said...
Such sadness! That was a great read!
Aniket said...
To not be able to be there for the final goodbye to the person you love...unimaginable pain. The heart needs closure.
Very well told.
Craig said...
I think this one is about the loss of possiblities.
Sarah Laurenson said...
Loss and heartache. Achingly rendered.
Charmaine said...
Preeti,
You're right. Dreaming of death is not literal. Our subconcious speaks to us in metaphores.
pjd said...
For some reason when I got to the end, I was unsure about "could have saved you." After overthinking it for a bit, I figured the narrator had dropped out of molecular biology to become a priest, and that was the salvation he (she?) could have offered. I think that was not was you were writing, though.
Scribblers Inc said...
It's the gaping void of "could be's " and "could have's "...
moving indeed...
Kartik said...
The sadness!
laughingwolf said...
somber...
Laurel said...
So sad. Big loss, no closure. .
Tara said...
Very emotional piece. So sad
Four Dinners said...
Emotionally bleak and actually left me feeling genuinely sad.
Beautifully written.
Deb Smythe said...
I'm feeling the heartache and regret. Well done.
Betty Gordon said...
Sad but moving.
james r. tomlinson said...
With MLK Day right around the corner, I couldn't help but notice your opening line and chuckle. You've managed to tell a believable tale, yet I was begging for more: What type of disease did this person have? In what way could the narrator have helped?
Chris Eldin said...
I, too, am left with many questions. A tragic tale of loss, nicely woven.
Katherine Tomlinson said...
Filled with authentic emotion, emotionally told.
catvibe said...
Echoing the others here. Very emotional and sad.

I'm glad they said that. But anger underfoot. I keep trying to stomp thngs out, like an insect beneath my boot.  Smash..smash.  But like weird bugs and their crazy exoskeletans...my anger springs back to life.

Date 1 - Bad Boy Gone Good

Repost...I'm out of material people...but that is no reason for you to be deprived of my dating journey.
Date 1- March 27th, 2008
San Chi Go, Laguna Beach

We irreverently met for sushi on Easter Sunday. The "Christian Playboy" had been to church. He went to Church on Good Friday too. He invited me.

“No thanks” I said “You go pray for us both...and have a good time”.

Oddly, the man doesn’t strike me as a Christian. He says things like, “Oh my GOD”! Isn't that against the rules?
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He’ll probably want to have pre-marital sex. I don't trust Christians.

He brought me a present. A kitchy plastic watch. After adjusted the links he brought it to me a few days later with a card and some cookies. (Some women get diamonds).
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I'd considered bringing a present to our first date. I pondered brining a purple plastic egg filled with fish oil tablets. You know, to help protect his heart. I realized I would have to dip into MY stash of fish oil tablets to accomplish the joke. I'm no spring chicken either.

Joke aborted.
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He was in a car accident and was "rebuilt". Part of his abdominal skin was used to cover destroyed calf muscle.
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Favorite Quote from my Date (he pointed to his calf and said): “If you look here you can see my belly-button”.

And I did.  Ewe.

NEW FEATURE!!!
Utube of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of3ZdK8aKqQ

Restaurant Review (***) 3 stars SAN SHI GO
This place is on the non-beach side of PCH but overlooks the water. It received rave reviews from many sources. I wasn’t impressed. The Sushi chef was similarly unimpressed by my attempts to speak Japanese. CP liked it. I had the “Backflip Roll”, and 2 other rolls. How many rolls are you supposed to eat, anyway?

I'm in love

I just thought you should know.

He's 81.  I'm done.  He is wonderful beyond wonderful. I asked him to marry me.  Yes I did.

Okay, so the reason we were speaking in the first place has to do with the fact that a friend of mine has prostate cancer. Lou, my next husband, hounded me all day after I initially contacted him (he has a support group) regarding  Prostate Cancer.

He tracked me down like a blood hound. 

A really affable grand fatherly blood hound.

We spoke for hours.  His interest is in my friend.  He wants to call him or have him call him.  (That sounds like an improper sentence.) 

Cancer is scary.  Not only for the one with it but for those of us who surround it/them. I want a quick fix.  I want it to be over.  I thought Prostate Cancer was no big deal.

I was wrong. 

With or without my "guy" I will attend the next support group.  I will listen to the guest speaker and more importantly...meet Lou.  Then...I will launch an assault on my supposed  "guy".  I'll make him talk to Lou. 

They will become fast friends. 

Then I'm gonna marry Lou.

He said I was scary smart. He wants nothing more then to help my friend. 

He's on a mission.

I Want Your Love

No words tonight my darlings. Just this video...and  people call me a feminist.  I am, it's true, but there is another side.  A woman has many "sides"...

My  heart was innocent until now.  You know...because you watched as I dated multitudes.

I used to want to be president of the United States...now...I pretty much just want to be a drag queen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I

Captain Cage

Re-run week. October 3, 2007

I cancelled "Asian Persuasion" at the last minute and slipped in Captain Cage. Captain Cage is a private yacht captain in Newport Beach for a major celebrity. (I'm not supposed to say who.) My date was an Englishman in his 50's. Okay, his boss is Nicholas Cage. Lord knows I can't keep a secret.

We met at Blue Water Grill in Newport near Lido Isle. When I arrived my wine had been ordered and was waiting on the table.  Appetizers were on their way. "Thank God you're not going to starve me to death like some of my other dates"...I thought....but it came out of my mouth. I have no filter.  What can I say?

The captain was a nice bloke, asking frequently, "How am I doing?" and less frequently, "Will you marry me?".

We chatted quite comfortably, ate 4 appetizers and sipped 3 white wines. Hiccup. We gulped down a giant glass of water and went for a stroll by the bay. (To walk it off). Captain Cage pointed out his favorite boats and tried to kiss me.

Walking back we ran into his friend sitting on his porch. Captain said to his friend, "Isn't she lovely?" (Referring to me) The friend looked at me...and failed to respond. I thought..."bastard". It didn't slip out of my mouth. I have SOME control.

He walked me to my car and asked for another date after advising he would be leaving for Puerto Vallarta the following day for 3 months. "My boss wants the boat down there," he said.  "Nick is going to take his horrible son and obnoxious young wife.  She barks orders at me as if I were a butler.  I believe she used to be a cocktail waitress.  Nick's son wears black nail polish. Nick asked if I wouldn't mind parenting the lad a wee bit in his absence. Nick goes through yacht captains every six (6) months if they take this suggestion. I won't make that mistake." 

Captain Cage was fired a week later.
Restaurant Review

Blue Water Grill, Newport Beach, CA
This is the kind of food my parents might have shared on their first date. Old style. Things like fried prawns and clams served in a pueter collander of tepid broth perfumed with a hint of wine and garlic. It's the kind of place that probably uses dried parsley. Not bad but...old. The crowd was older. I guess I'm older too.

The Lyin' King

Re-run week. 12/4/08

In preparation for date number two (2) The Lyin' King and I emailed furiously.
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It was fun, fast and flirtatious. At one point I "sensed" he was looking for something else.

Like a job.

Why would I think this you ask? Low self esteem? I don't think I'm attractive enough to sustain a man's attention?

He sent me his resume.

I'm and Event Planner. He's an attorney.

In order to steer the conversation away from employment I said things like, "You know most of the men in my industry are gay".

He responded smarmily, " I enjoy the touch and feeeel of a woman wayyyyy too much to ever go THERE". (Why do men talk like that?)

I quickly retorted, "Well, if you would please consider BECOMING gay, it would demonstrate that you are highly motivated".

That worked. Unfortunately, there was still the problem of his resume on my desk.

The first line began, "I recently lost my job due to layoffs...".

I send it to my sister (an attorney) and here is what she said:

"Charmaine, people rushed into my office to see what was the matter because I was laughing so hard". I was reading his resume. "I began to chuckle at the first line and by the time I got to third page where he states, "I was was quasi legal councel for... " I was on the floor.

She contacted the California Bar Association to find he had been suspended for stealing a clients money to pay office expenses. He was no longer allowed to practise law.

Restaurant Review

Old Vine Cafe - Drinks -*** (3 stars)
This little place is located in Costa Mesa in a strip mall called The Camp. I met him there. The President and Vice President of my company were with me. (They wanted to get a look at him.) We were all having a glass of wine when he arrived. It was awkward, he was uncomfortable and would not join us so we departed.

Mesa - Dinner -**** (4 stars)
The place is hip and FILLED with beautiful young people who appeared to be from L.A. Amber candles glowed hither and thither. The President of my comany showed up with her gorgeous, much younger boyfriend. Again...awkward.

I had a delicious concoction of lobster and shrimp in a foamy butter broth. It arrived in a bowl covered in foam with a red lobster shell head poking out of it as if to suggest it was having a nice bath. I dove into that bathtub head first to find succulent pieces of lobster and shrimp.

Who cares for men when there is such food to be had?

Duck...Duck...Goose.

It's re-run week. Join me, won't you?  (There is some profanity so eject here in order to preserve your inner landscape.)

9/29/08
"Evil Surfer Dude" dropped by Saturday.

He arrived with a plan. An Evil plan.

We were going bowling.

Don't get me wrong, I like bowling.  But after taking me to dinner the previous evening at what can only be described as a homeless shelter...it wasn't really working for me.

We drove to Fullerton where he was raised. We argued over where to dine for lunch. "Dine?" he queried. We picked up sandwiches and ate them on a bench, like homeless people, across from a lake he frequented as a lad.

Blood thirsty ducks hovered upon the lake.

After flapping out of the water, one walked right up and bit my leg. 

With compassion in my heart, I stood up and walked away. (I'm always the "bigger man".) The killer duck followed. As we strolled around the perimeter of the greenish man-made lake... the abnormally overweight duck chased alongside in the water honking obnoxiously and eyeing the fingers of my right hand."Quack quack, me see finger snack," he said.

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"Evil" took my hand. In an unprecedented act of chivalry he made eye contact with the duck and said, "Fuck off".

Being a woman of pristine upbringing and character, I might have addressed the duck differently.  "Mr. Duck, you'd better watch it. I know a Chinese Restaurant that would like nothing better then to change your first name to Peking. Plus, where did you learn to speak English anyway, a brothel in Thailand?

Watching a grown man swear at a duck is ridiculous.

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As a child,  if a kid came over to our house they would eventually begin to use the "F" word too despite being raised well.  They rightly suspecting if they did NOT, they simply would not be understood.

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Johnny: "Mrs. Peterson, may I have another glass of milk?

Mother: Fails to respond

Johnny: "Mrs. Peterson, may I have another fucking glass of milk?

Mother: "Oh, certainly Dear."

I once offended a date with a judgmental remark.  He raised his voice and said, "F you, bitch".  Then he watched, glaring into my eyes waiting for my enraged response.

I batted an eye, gazed at him and demurely responded, "Please, that's what my mother says to me when she's trying to be NICE."

Restaurant Review

Subway, Fullerton, CA

Despite having dated this man for several months and building up a remarkable tolerance to Salmonella,  what I ordered gave me a stomach ache.  Run for the hills.  Shortly after this, with regard to "Evil Surfer Dude" it's exactly what I did.