Don’t Do this
A response to Bernthis
In this day and age men need dating help. Our roles have changed.
I have, on occasion, gazed across a table on a first date and thought, “I’m a better MAN then you”.
It’s generally me holding the door open for some man entering the bank behind me. My eyes communicate, “this is what you should be doing.
We have the Mars/Venus guy. He was small, scrawny and whiny. He alleged that men “retreat to their caves after intimacy”. Real men do not retreat.
My friend Rick purchased all of his books. Rick is still single.
I would like to offer to men more practical advice:
1. Don’t grab my boob. Asking if my breasts are “real” does not give you license to actually grab one. If you must, grab the left one…it’s bigger.
2. Don’t kiss me then latch onto my lower lip in an attempt to extract every last drop of blood. Pain and kissing should not be synonymous.
4. Occasionally, stop talking.
5. If you’re an attorney who was disbarred…don’t tell me you’re still an attorney. My sister will investigate you. It’s a matter of public record. Assuming that I’m a moron, is the wrong move.
5. Don’t tell me about your previous Internet inspired sexual conquests. Seriously, don’t do it.
6. Don’t ask me for a job.
7. Don’t ask me to pay for lunch on the first date.
8. Resist the temptation to believe weakness is attractive. It’s not. If I can be a man, so can you. Don't do the saving the weak woman thing and expect me to respect you.
10. Tell me I’m pretty. K?